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I don't wanna be the jealous type
18/f
okay, so i've been talking to this guy for a while like since I was 15. He's an amazing guy, he has a great family, my family adores him, and I really honestly love him. Well, he had a girlfriend that he had been dating since before we even met, but he didn't love her & didnt want to be with her but he didnt know how to tell her. He just didnt want to break her heart. Anyway, while he wsa with his ex he spent every day with me, we talked all the time, we even kissed/held hands/etc... a lot. So techinically he cheated on her. They broke up about two weeks ago, and he told me he wanted to be with me but that he was scared to jump into things too soon after breaking up with his ex. Then when he finally did ask me to be his girlfriend he confessed that he was just scared to date me because he knows how college guys can be and he hangs out with girls a lot and didnt want to date me til he knew for sure he wasnt going to be tempted by them.
But now that we're together, the fact that he cheated on his ex is really starting to bother me even though it was my fault too. Now I'm constantly worried that he'll do the same thing to me. He's away at college but he stays with me on the weekends but i'm constantly worried he'll do something to hurt me... Like last night was the beginning of rush week, and he got really drunk and stopped texting me so I have no idea what he was doing... he usually texts me constantly, its not normal for him to just stop. And I know he wasnt sleeping because when I woke up this morning there was a text from about 3 hours after my last text to him. I don't think he'd do anything to hurt me, but it still bothers me because I've been hurt a lot, and he means the world to me. He hangs out with a couple of girls who are party animals & do drugs and stuff and they like to make out in front of my boyfriend and his roommates... thats pretty tempting, dont you think? It just worries me. I fell for him when I was 16 and now I finally have my opportunity to be his girl, I just don't want to screw it up with being the jealous type... its just really hard.
I havent said anything to him because I dont want to come off like that so soon in our relationship, but I also dont want him to think i'm naive or that he can just walk all over me... Any advice for me?
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i honestly know how you feel. i liked my best guy friend, and he had a girlfriend of three years; talk about committment. turns out they ended up breaking up and he tried getting with me. he's a really cute guy don't get me wrong which is why i was really insecure. he would always flirt with other girls in front of me and so i would confront him asking if he liked them and he always said no. well i continued to see this happening so i kept bringing it up; turns out it only pushed him away. if you were to keep being jealous and thinking these things and if you were ever to bring it up with him more than once, he will start to feel annoyed that you don't trust him. i know this because thats how my best friend felt. the only thing you can do is believe that your boyfriend will do no wrong and do nothing to hurt you. you could bring it up with him saying how you feel so insecure but if he reassures you that everythings going to be okay, beleive it. don't keep nagging him about it. most girls do have those feelings though, it is common. we just love something and we are paranoid it's going to be taken away from us by something better that comes along. but he's with you right NOW right :) guess you must be doing something right sweetheart! good luck, don't make the same mistake i did. ♥ LU
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If he truly likes you he wont do it i think the reason he cheated on his ex was because he liked you more and i know college guys change gfs like every week but just think if he was gonna cheat wouldnt things between you two be done already and would he really bother to text or come up to see you every weekend i dont think so i know its hard to make urself understand but your going to have to try just dont think about it because again he wouldnt still be with you if he was cheating and honeslty if this fear/jelousy of yours gets worse then things between you two could get bad fast so just dont think about it and if you still feel like you cant let the thought out of your head then maybe hes just not right for you maybe you need somone else who is always gonna be with you but i think you can get through this and im sure he isnt cheating on you. good luck :) with watever you choose to do :)
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