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the past just wont leave me alone
I'm 17 years old and i suffer from major depression. about a year go i had my first love and lost my virginaty around this time. We only dated for a month but i truely did love him... everything about him scared me because i never felt that way about anyone. i got really high one day when i was with him and my mind told me i didnt need him. it was the hardest break up ever but for some reason it didnt bother me till later that day. Not even a week went by and i found out he had sex with my bestfriend (at the time). and it hit me hard. i went into such bad depression i didnt even want to get up in the morning. all i did was eat and sleep. i gained 30 pounds in a matter of 3 months (not even). and now 10months later i'm the same weight. it sucks. I have a boy in my t we're not offical just yet and everyday i think about my first and how much i wish i coudl take it back and how i wish i was still with him and how much he still means to me. i go to his myspace almost everyday and just wonder how it would of been if i was still with him. p.s. he knows i gained weight and told me i look like a cow and to lose it. that just mad me cry.... help
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
first of all if you "love him" i say go with heart girl. nobodies going to stop you, but from what you've said about him and what he's said to you it's not worth it. Why? because a guy should never talk to a girl like that. You're beautiful in God's eyes, and i don't know you but i'm sure youare gorgeous. You just need to be yourself and pray everyday. I've suffered from depression so much...i don't know about you're past, but i'm sure we are alike in many ways. I've been in love 5 times...and the guy i'm with now is real love. you're going to experience what you think is love, but really is lust and needyness. I know how feel girl. i've gained alot of weight to, but my boyfriend who has been with me the longest now for 1 year and 3 months doesn't care about my weight. see if a guy loves you and really cares about you, he wouldn't care about your weight or appearance. Yes he may worry about you, but he wouldn't call you a cow and force you or tell you what to do about it. my best advice for now is to drink lots of water and go jogging for atleast 25 min everyday. trust me, you will feel alot better. I find it takes alot of stress and depression off yourself. I believe in you girl, so have faith and God will be with you in every step of the way. if you need help or have anymore questions, you let me know. i'm here for you.
your friend, Lulabell aka lulu
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This is why I advocated girls waiting until marriage (or at least much, much older than you) to have sex. Sex is not just a physical act, even though other people and tv and movies would like you to believe that. When you had sex with your b/f, you formed a deep emotional and psycological attachment to him your mind and body were not prepared for. When the break-up came, it affected you on that same level. Now you're paying the price. You wouldn't be the first girl to gain 30lbs over a guy, you won't be the last, but the weight isn't the point. The point is that you're trying to feel the piece of you that you lost when you gave yourself to him with food. For the weight loss, I recommend Weight Watchers. I did it myself and lost 75lbs. Its great, cheap, and you can even do it online, so no one has to know. For your heartbreak, all I can tell you is to do your best to avoid anything to do with him. You need time to heal, but you just torture yourself by constantly fantasizing and looking at his myspace and even talking to him. By the way, honey, any guy that would tell you that you look like a cow is a complete loser. That right there says it all. You can't take the past back, but you can shape your future. Move on from this guy, he doesn't deserve you, and from now on, think about waiting for sex. I know I sound like a prude in this day and age but trust me, I know from personal experience, its worth it, and so are you.
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