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Help i dont no what to do!
hi im 25/f and from England i have never asked anyone for help before and i think its about time i did.(sorry if its too long)
i have been in a relationship now for 6 years but for the last 5 months i have been through hell, it all started when i had a massive argument with my folks. myself and my other half were living with them as we had no where else to go, he moved out as he does not get on with my folks at all we have even been declined by them to get married! due to the argument my folks kicked me out of their house so i had to find somewhere to live and quick, luckily my partners boss had a shared house that i could move into with my 2 dogs and 2 cats. so i moved in there the very same day, it was going fine but due to myself not working i was able to get housing benefits so i did from the house, the landlord changed his mind and demanded i commit fraud by getting the benefits from his house in a totally different area but live in the house still. i declined to do this as i have to much to loose if i got caught so he evicted me, i have taken him to a solicitors but due to myself getting evicted i have had to sleep on the streets and rely on people i have just met to allow me and my animals to sleep in their houses (i know a lot of people but i don't have anyone that you can call a friend!) due to no one being able to help me anymore in the area i went to my partners but as he lives in a bedsit i could not keep the animals and stay there i have had to give all my animals up which breaks my heart as each one of those represents a miscarriage i have had! i am now living with my partner in secret so i have to stay in his room when he is not here. due to everything that has gone on i have gone down in the spiral of depression i cant sleep at night, i have lost weight and gone down 3 dress sizes in just under 2 months, i cant eat, i don't want to socialize, i am drinking more, i keep the curtains shut sit in a corner and stare into space all day and i am seriously thinking of suicide. my partner is really worried about me as i keep on going in to a depressive coma state but i cant come clean about everything to him as it will break his heart. i have been a self harming depressant before and got addicted to anti depressants, i don't no if i should go back on to them but my partner does not want me to he says i can fight through it with him. but anytime i see a train i think if it will be easier to jump in front of it or overdose or just go for a walk and never return?! what should i do if i don't do anything soon i think im going to do something stupid and end up in a mental hospital or worse a coffin. so should i go to the doctors, commit suicide, confess everything to my other half , or just see if it passes? can anyone help me please
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I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you may have received and may continue to receive from others.
England has National Health so the first thing you should do is go to a Doctor in fact you should go to the nearest Hospital Emergency Room for treatment for depression. Take the letter you have written us with you and show it to the doctors at the hospital.
I am not qualified to diagnose the type of depression you are suffering from; what I can tell you is that you will not climb out of your depressive state without medical help. This help may include medications and talk therapy. You talk about jumping in front of a train and ending it all. I am not sure if this is considered actively suicidal or just suicidal ideation whichever you need to address this with a qualified clinician.
The other things you have written about are clouded by your depression. Once you are in treatment the issues you have written about will take on a new perspective and can be worked on between you and your therapist. How do I know this? I too suffer from depression as a result of disabling injuries received in an auto accident. It took a long time working with my therapist to come to grips with my new lifestyle and dealing with the daily pain and medications. The result is I won and what I thought was so over bearing that I could not live with it as well as all those who were working against me I now see in a different perspective because I have my depression under control.
So please go to the Hospital and see a doctor today and start on the road to recovery
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hello... i read your story and it does seem sad ... well this is the advice i can give you ... its seems to me that you love your boyfriend you even call him your other half ... well boyfriends are supposed to be there for you no matter what ... if he really loves you he will help you get thru this ... i think you should tell him ... it seems to me like you should seek support from him ...you dont have to go thru this alone ... don't think of suicide ... its dumb and you will only hurt your other half ... think about him and how sad he will be if you leave him ... now think about your self ... think what you could potentially be ... i know life is hard but dont give up ever ... people around you need you even if you dont notice it ...keep fighting look for a job like crazy until you get one ... start off at a fast food place and work your way up =]
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