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Hard to explain
I'll keep this short lol
I like this guy, and I like flirting with him, but he constantly tells me he's interested in having a "forever" relationship with me once I turn 18 (in less than a year).
I'm NOT looking for anything like that! He's WAY TOO OLD FOR ME, I'm talking 10+ older than I am. I'm not sure how to handle the situation, I stopped flirting already.
Basically what I want (not sure if this can happen) is for him to give up the idea of living with me for the rest of his life and go back to the way it was (FRIENDS)
Can anyone give me some suggestions on how to deal and come across? Anything is appreciated!
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Flirting is, of course, harmless. But, you should've thought about this before you started talking to him. He's 10+ years older than yourself..when guy's get near their 30's they want to start settling down. You're almost 18, you're going to explore different guys, have fun, and just be a normal teenage girl! This is something you must tell him to get him to understand. Obviously age doesn't matter to him (which I'm not saying is bad!) but you are a lot younger than he is..and the big thing is, you're 17. I don't know why he would even think he would be able to settle down with someone who isn't even 18 yet. Doesn't he remember when he was your age? I'm sure he wasn't settling down. Just tell him you want to talk and eventually say something like this. "I'm not even 18 yet..I want to enjoy being a teenager. I'm sorry but I'm not interested in settling down this young." You can even tell him (if you want) that you can still be good friends, but that he should try and find someone closer to his own age who would be ready for a "forever" relationship. And, as the person below me said, he's pretty much taking advantage of the fact that you're young and won't have "alarms" going off as fast as someone closer to his age would. I would also stop the flirting..it may lead him on to think he has a chance of having you when you're 18. Remember, don't come off as being mad, annoyed, or not wanting to talk to him anymore..just be yourself and act normal. He should understand! If he doesn't, you might want to stop talking to him.
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Be firm, direct and so clear it's almost cruel when you tell him you aren't interested.
I'm dead serious.
Please, take this from a girl with a few more years of experience with guys:
If this is an older guy talking like this to you, a teenage girl, he's fucked up.
Seriously fucked up. One of the reasons you are becoming a target of his fucked-up-ness is because a girl his own age wouldn't put up with it. Most girls his own age would have little alarm bells going off in their head that are much louder then then the little ones you've got in yours.
The only chance you have at a normal, respectful and healthy relationship with an older guy who is not taking the damn hint, is to be very, very clear. Anything else will just have this same pattern continuing, with him backing off for a bit, and then coming right back at your with the 'forever' talk.
Try this:
"I enjoy our friendship, and part of that is the harmless flirting, but that's all it is. We are only friends. I never want to be more then friends with you, and when talk about a relationship with me when I'm eighteen, it upsets me. I just want to be honest with you about that: It's not going to happen and I don't want to talk about it."
He might not want to be your friend after you are this clear with him, but anything less then that clear is not going to solve your problem AND it's even a bit dangerous to allow him to continue like this. I know you like the attention, any girl would, but please nip this in the bud before it becomes a problem.
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