|
I'm depressed and i dont really see a reason for being alive
Hi. im 16. going to be a 10th grader. i dont know why, im just so depressed. there are always bad things happening around me.
when i was little i had a best freind, whos parents were freinds of my parents. we knew each other since birth, and we ended up liking each other and stuff. i dont know. but something happend to him, and he totally changed (we are thinking he was maybe raped or something.) anyways, i lost him as a friend in about ... 5th grade. that was the major begining of my depression. his parents then divorced (his dad is mental) a couple years ago and well now, his mom, who i feel like shes my aunt, is gunna die in 4 months of cancer. and my old freind (who i havent talked to in 3 years) is going to prolly go live with his mental dad who he hates..
then in 7th grade i finally got a bf. we were together almost 2 years, and then we had some issues, and he ended up being upset that we never did much, so he went behind my back texting girls (including my cousin) very inappropriate texts and everything. he broke up with me after i found out. that was DEVASTATING. it took me forever to get over that, and i still really havent. he says he still loves me and he was just fghting with himself and stuff. i dont know im not going back to him because he will hurt me again.
i now have a bf, tho i emailed him a break up (because i dont have his home number and his cell broke) and i like my best freind, who i've known for 4 years, and we are guuna go out. but no one makes me as happy as my bf who i dated for 2 years, or my old childhood friend who was like my brother and more than that.
i dont know if that relly has anything to do with my depression but i feel like theres no happiness in the world and idk why. im prolly not gunna commit suicide or anything, because it would devastate my parents, but i still dont see a reason to live, and i feel like im just here, dead, with no happiness. i try to depend on my friends to help me happy, but i cant because i feel bad that i depend on them, and i feel like i annoy them, tho they say idont. i just dont know what to do. i've lost all reason for life. i like music, but alot of it just depresses me. and it helps me sometimes, but i dont know. i also have a weird feeling of wanting to do drugs to get away from it all, or maybe because i feel like im on them, mindless or something. i know i'd get addicted too, but i dnot even know how to get any, and i'd get in major trouble, because im like... an honor student and stuff. so i dont know...
please help me. i just dont know what to do. and i dont wanna tell my mom that im depresed because she will worry about me,and also, depression runs in my dads side of the family.... so.. yeah.
just please help me
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: General Sex Questions?
Get Niacin you can get it at any GNC or vitamin shop.
It is why suicidal patients get better. Look it up.
Its your only option Most people will be totally cured from depression im a matter of weeks.
I have tried every thing there is and this is the only thing that works.
Dont stop taking it. With out Niacin it is impossible to get better.
]
Hi, I'm the same age as you, in the same grade, and the same gender. Above all that I have had alot of the same problems. I have also had many more than you listed, I'm sure you have too. So if you would like to talk I'm sure we could help each other. My emails are flyfunpixie@aol.com, Whoops830@hotmail.com, and suger_strawberry_shortcake@yahoo.com. I would like to listen to you, talk to you seriously, give you advice, and if you would like, be a friend. Which is why I would like to talk to you via email. I am extending a hand of support out to you, a hand that is worn and used, but even so can be a support system to another. It is your choice whether to accept it or not. I truly hope you do because I would like you as friend.
]
Depression usually comes about when there’s been some tragedy or life changes. And because your depression runs in your dad’s family, it could be possible that you’ve inherited the depression. I do know that if depression goes untreated, it just gets worse.
Your depression probably did begin when you lost your really close friend in the 5th grade. It was a tremendous loss for you and it looks like it devastated you. You probably needed to talk to someone at that point, but you wouldn’t have known the affects of depression going untreated. But you still care for your friend because you’re worried about him and his wellbeing.
Since your depression cycle has already started, when you met your bf, you probably didn’t spend much time with him because you couldn’t. Being depressed causes you to isolate yourself and you can’t find interest in activities even the ones you love to do. Inside you probably really wanted to do more but you just couldn’t bring yourself to do more. People who aren’t depressed really don’t understand those who are depressed. They really don’t understand how hard it is for you to relate to them. But because you lost yet another bf, the devastation just added to your current depressed state.
There is happiness in the world you are the only one who can make you happy. If you depend on others to make you happy they’ll almost always let you down. If you’re depressed, you’re going to feel like you annoy others because it’s part of the depression. You’re paranoid. You’re going to think about how you affect other people, and you’re going to get upset because you can’t relate to them the way you want to. Being depressed will cause to you lose interested in the things you love.
My advice, you probably do need drugs, but not street drugs, medication under a doctor’s supervision. You probably do need to talk to your mother so that you can get some help. Visit your health care provider and tell him/her what’s been happening and for how long. As least you’ll be on the road to recovery. You don’t have to live in a world of sadness, you can be happy again.
]
So you're only 16? That's certainly a young age for depression... but hey you, my name is elle, what's yours? I'd like to be friends and would like you to know that even though you don't know me, I am always here for you. No need to feel creeped out because of me... believe it or not, a lot of strangers have come to me for advice too(= But now, I'd like to focus on you.
So lets go over your story. I'm going to extract the problems from your story and I will give my best advice to solve each one. Just help me out a little if you have anything you'd like to add or say and I will take care of the rest, sound good? (:
First off, your close friend. It seems like he's your first best friend is he not? Well, just to let you know, if your friend has changed like you say he has, there is always room to make new best friends, and yes you are allowed to have more than one(= so why not go out and make more new friends?
Second, your "aunt" who has cancer. There are a lot of innocent people who have this sickness...and as devestating as it might be, the only thing you can really do is be there for her as a friend. She just really needs someone there to make her laugh and feel good about herself, these things are what all true friends can accomplish just by talking to her, telling her jokes, and just making her feel good about herself(= I'm sure you would make a nice friend for her.
Third, boyfriends, love, and relationships. As beautiful as love may be, it can be just as ugly. Don't let its inevitable trap catch you. You are a good person and you can be just as strong as any other. Don't EVER let a guy put you down or push you around. This will give them more power and it is you that should possess your own potential power. I know it may be hard to get over the guy you've dated for 2 years...but please believe me when I say you deserve better. Love is a hard and hurtful matter but you can get past it if you just stand for your self-confidence and on your own two feet. Believe in yourself and believe that you will find a guy who will love you for just you. Not for just the make-up you wear on the outside but for the make-up you wear on the inside too. Learn to love yourself for who you are before you let anyone else love you.
Fourth, drugs and such. There's nothing wrong about doing drugs or alcohol. Its the addiction thats the real problem about it. Don't ever take your depression out on drugs or alcohol because it will lead you to addiction...and we all know how that game ends... that's right, you'll lose. If you're depressed, do something useful that will take your mind off depression; such as, going out with friends, taking road trips, playing games, playing instruments, watching movies, or traveling. As you can see, there are even more options aside from drugs and alcohol. Friends are a definite main solution because if they are true friends, they will be there for you through thick and thin.
Overall, it seems like you've been falling apart a lot... but the main thing is, you've got to learn to live your life up to the fullest and you've got to learn to be strong for yourself at the most. Go out of your way and do what ever you feel you need to do to decrease your depression. This is why we're given our own lives, to live through them on our own two feet and our own self-confidence. So be strong, keep your head up and do your best to think positive. Things will be okay only if you make them that way and remember, I will always be here for you if you need to talk.
(=
-Elle
]
I'll just take this piece by piece for you. There is nothing too unusual about being depressed at your age. Every breakup hurts and just the world feels like it's crashing in on you at times. Don't start using drugs or alcohol. The temproary relief from your problems makes them seen even harder to deal with when you sober back up. If there is a lot of sad things in yoru life one way to help fix it is to do things you like. Let's say you like animals, maybe taking the dog for a walk would distract you. If you like sports or the outdoors, try to get out a bit more. If you spend your time doing things you like, you will have more fun and also it will distract you some. Breakups hurt. Worrying about loved ones hurts. These things get slightly easier to deal with as you mature. We tend to think that life is going to be some fairy tale and it rarely is. When we don't have this perfect experience it's devastating. It seems you just need an outlet. Maybe talk to your mom some. But, of course you probably don't want to say everything. If you have to keep an online journal about stuff that is hurting you. It's not important if anyone reads it. It's just so you can express this stuff and let out a bit of emotion. Maybe share some of your worries with online friends. Those friends you go to school with may be a bit judgmental so usually an online friend is a good way to go. Just keep tabs on how you feel. It is possible your problems are because of hormones or your body's chemistry so maybe medical help will be needed down the road. But usually it's just stuff you need to work through. Everyone goes through similar things. It's okay to hurt. But these sad things do really pass. They aren't forgotten but they don't hurt after awhile.
]
It seems the things that happen around you, make you depressed. However, the fact that it runs in your dad's side of the family is also a huge cause. They say things in life happen for a reason. Things in life aren't always great..but something I've learned is that you always need to look at the positive side of things in order to have any happiness at all..even if it's just a little. I understand death, and seeing your childhood best friend be in a bad situation can depress you..but this is something that can't be stopped. Unless he speaks up for himself, he can't be helped much. Maybe try getting in touch with him..give him a shoulder to lean on. He's obviously going through a difficult time. Your boyfriend, who you were with for 2 years, is definitely a little bit of the cause of your depression possibly. But, you must understand..guy's, especially when there young, don't like to be in long relationships because they want to explore different types, same for girls, also. What he did was no doubt very rude and disrespectful to you..but you can't control the actions of others. It is very hard to get over someone who you were with for that long, but you must try. If this guy really did ever love you..he would've never done that to you. I know you can't get over him that fast..but date other guys, and find someone who makes you happy, and I'm sure that guy will fade from your mind eventually. Since you like and are going to go out with your best friend..that's good..maybe it'll help you get the other guy out of your mind. I'm happy to hear that you are not considering suicide..that's definitely not the way to go. Not only because of your parents, but, because you're 16! you have your whole life ahead of you! No need to ruin it. And please do not use drugs..that's the worst way to deal with problems..I see it all the time. It gives you the high you want so you forget about your problems..but then when the high's over..you get even lower than you were before. Not a good idea, so stay away from that stuff. You should be happy that you have loving parents, good grades, good friends, etc. Some people don't have that. So cherish it. I don't think your friends are annoyed with you for any of this..they are their to listen. You are right though, you can't always depend on them. But, I'm sure they'll have no problem helping if you ask! I know you don't want to tell your parent's about this..but I think you should because they can get you help. Consider a therapist, or even a school counselor. This will give you the help you need to stop feeling depressed all the time.
]
More Questions: |