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How did you know he/she was The One?
For people who are marrieed/engaged...
Did you know right away that the one you were going to marry was THE ONE or did it take time? I am 20 years old and have been dating a guy for about a year and a half and originally felt like he was the one, but now i question it. He does everything for me and cares so deeply for me and is hardpressed on marrying me. I used to feel this way too but now it seems those feelings have sizzled off a little bit. It would kill me to end it with him because I still feel strongly for him, but i find myself getting irritated with him so easily lately and im not sure if its just because im stressed with work and school or if im just bored with him. So did you know that your husband/wife/fiancee was the one right away or did it come with time? How did you know this?? Also, how do you bring that spark back when the feelings start to fade?
I cant see myself with anybody else but him, but I feel like I should have more of a desire to want to be with him than I do at this point in time... Any advice at all would be helpful.
Thank you
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
You aren't going to realize anything.
Pure choice. There's no such thing as "the one", there's just a person that you choose to be with every day.
I can tell you point blank that you won't love them every day.
Relationships, especially marriages, are constant unceasing, unending work. There is no magic person you will always be alright with, problems in a relationship are a result of the fact that no two people are clones of each other and differences must be overcome and adjusted to.
There will be good days and bad days. The good days are forged out of desire and will. You don't magically love someone forever, the two of you have to commit on a deeper level than love before you're willing to tie the knot.
I like the term partners, because that's exactly what it is. The person you choose to spend your life with is your ally against the world. The person who will be on your side if and when no one else is. The person you trust that far and the person who trusts you the same.
Love is not how you hold onto a person, love is how you enjoy them.
If you feel disconnected, connect. Make it a point to not let yourself get pissed off by small things for a few days and spend some time with him talking, having fun, etc. Go out on an official "date" every once in a while even now that you're together.
Which is, again, work. You have to put yourselves in situations that you can remember the passion. Don't be surprised if some of the feelings fade sometimes. Life stress can definitely get in the way. Struggling through school and being poor as shit and worrying about school, rent, etc all at once can put a damper on your interactions. It's work to not be at each others throats.
But when you can spend a quiet night together recuperating from the rest of the world, it's worth it.
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