|
What goes through a guy's mind after he hooks up with a girl?
Guys, please explain to me why after hooking up interest is lost so quickly. Is there a way to bring that interest back? Why after hooking up with a woman too quickly, men usually lose interest completely? What goes through your minds the next day after that quickly? This has happened to me time and time again! I hook up with a guy that I really like and who seems to like me and then he stops talking to me, won't answer his phone, won't reply to my emails anymore, etc. What do guys think after they hook-up with a girl that makes them not want to see/talk to her again? It makes me feel like trash.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Hmm. How to explain this.
Usually, what ends up happening is sex is basically handed to the on a silver platter. They are single, horny, and don't have a particular reason to say no.
There never was an interest in those cases to begin with. But when a girl comes onto a guy, judgment lapses meant that it's allowed to happen. Even if they're stupid enough to try to "be clear that it was just sex" they generally should know that that probably wasn't the case.
Hooking up is not something you do to generate interest, and it's not something you do if you want more than just the physical with someone. Doesn't matter if you're fucking them or just making out randomly at a party (since I know it's now an adopted term and used for any casual physical interactions, not just casual sex) if you're doing something like that it's intended to be casual.
The flirting game is about more than just generating interest. It's part of an evaluation process where people figure out if they want to be interested in each other.
I know that it "seems" like guys want to hook up (and, well, yes we often do) but that doesn't mean that it's the best way to get with one of us. When you involve the physical too early, unless the guy is already definitely interested in more, he isn't going to pursue it. Even then, if you start a relationship based on sex it's almost always doomed to failure. Very few people have the maturity to start a relationship with others when sex is immediately involved, even as adults.
You're assuming that you did something wrong to make them not be interested, the fact is that they more than likely never were in the first place. Whatever signs you're reading into "they like me" is actually just physical attraction.
Your criteria is shallow, and so are there's. When two shallow people interact, the interactions themselves are shallow. That's the essence of hooking up, the person you're with is just a placeholder. You don't give a shit who they are as long as you can find them attractive in the moment and can get laid or whatever it is you're doing with them. Its shallow because the conditions are easily satisfied, all that has to exist is mutual physical attraction and the ability to tolerate each other for very short periods of time.
You want more? Go deeper. Actually go through the dating process, make a guy prove that he wants more than sex before you provide it. The sad fact is that at your age (under 20, probably still in high school) most guys aren't mature enough to do more than they have to to get what they want. If your standards are high, you weed out a lot of the worthless ones simply because you're too much trouble.
And before their early 20s, a lot of guys fit that category. Some of them will grow up eventually, a lot of them won't. Sad fact of life. But if you don't change the behavior and start acting like you want more than sex, you won't find guys who are willing to give you more than that.
]
More Questions: |