|
My current is jelous of my ex
man it feels like I have a new problem every day.
I've been spending alot of my time with this guy jason, and im crazy about him. Before him I was totally in love with this guy josh and honestly I still love him dearly but we aren't good for eachother and I accept that. But Jason he doesn't want me to talk to josh, hang out with him or anything. He expects me to leave behind one of the most important people in my life(someone i've known for over six years) for him (someone i've known for less than a year). I cant do it and I wont. He says that he knows about me and josh's past and that he thinks I would leave him for josh, we argue about this guy every day and im sick of it. Josh has even tried being his freind so that we can all get along and when I hang out with josh he can come and feel comfortable, but all jason wanted to do was start problems with josh. I really like jason and want things between us to work out but I will never cut josh out of my life for anyone, he's been there for me through everything and not only was he my first love but my best freind. so what do I do with jason>? What can I say to make him feel better about this situation>?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Jason obviously senses your feelings for Josh. You say you can't be with Josh, but love him dearly. Would you want to be with a guy who said he likes you but also loves his ex-girlfriend "dearly"? By staying close to the ex you still have feelings for, you're telling your current man that you'll never be able to completely commit to him. I see nothing wrong with the way you feel for your ex, but if you can't commit to Jason the way he wants to commit to you, then you're just leading him on. Looks like you're going to have to make a choice on this one - best friend/first love, or boyfriend? It may be difficult, and seem unfair, but remember that there are other feelings and hearts at stake here besides your own.
]
Honestly, you've got to see things from Jason's point of view before anything will be resolved. If Jason had a girl that was his best friend that he knew for six years and fell in love with, would you honestly want Jason to hang out with her? You even stated in your question that you're in love with Josh but that you and him are bad for each other. So pretty much, if you thought that you were okay for each other, you'd be dating him over Jason. See what I'm saying?
Jason probably knows that you and Josh aren't dating just because you're not 'good' for each other. He's probably thinking that you have a huge history with each other and that it is something that he simply can't compete with. How can he compete with six years?
I'm not saying that you should cut Josh out of your life, I'm simply saying that you need to see where Jason is coming from and why he is feeling how he feels. It's clear to me that Jason is just insecure because you've got a long history with Josh and he can see that you still love Josh. Instead of arguing with him, you should be telling him that he is the only one in your mind. Let him know that you and Josh are over for good and that you are ready to move on with Jason. Tell him that Josh has been your best friend for six years though, so you can't completely cut him out of your life.
Make him feel secure in the relationship with you. Part of being a good boyfriend/girlfriend is making your mate feel comfortable and making them feel as though you only have eyes for them. Tell Jason how you feel about him and that you don't want to lose him.
As far as Josh being friendly and so that Jason can tag along when you and Josh hang out: Really?
Did you guys really think that was a good idea and that that would work? No way.
If my current boyfriend's girlfriend tried to befriend me so that I could hang out with my boyfriend while he hangs out with her, I'd have some choice words for both of them.
The intentions are good, but come on, that doesn't work. In theory, that's great. But life and relationships don't work like that.
Like I mentioned before, if Jason had an ex that he loved and still loved and that he knew for six years, would you want to go with Jason while he hung out with his ex? That simply doesn't make sense.
It's not what you want to hear, but you're pretty much going to have to choose between the two to some extent, at least for a while, until Jason is comfortable and secure. That's what you do for your boyfriend if you really care about him. It's all about sacrificing. You'll have to sacrifice hanging out with and talking to Josh all the time if you want Jason to be comfortable and secure with you.
It doesn't mean that you have to completely drop Josh, but it does mean that you need to focus more time and energy on Jason for the time being.
Good luck,
Darby(:
]
More Questions: |