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This guy would rather text message it seems
Hello,
I'm 19 & I've been talking to a guy I like who is 22 since September of 2008. In November of 2008 I slept with him once, which was very stupid of me. I really like this guy but all we do is text & he ALWAYS initiates the texting. We've hung out that one time in November & again in May of this year. He never brought up spending time with me so I finally mentioned it in March of this year & again in April & he responded with “Ya sure sometime when I’m not busy w/work.” (he works a lot) Finally last month he asked me out to dinner & a movie. We had a good time, laughed, & he flirted a bit, it was very innocent so it was really nice & we didn't do anything except hug when he dropped me off. I felt like this would be starting fresh so he can see that I'm not some sluty girl who sleeps around. It's been almost a month since we spent time & he hasn't brought up doing something like that again. The thing is that he texts me daily & will do so for hours. I do wonder if he felt obligated to spend time with me & got it over with so that I wouldn't ask him again. It seemed like he enjoyed his time with me though. If I take a while to respond when he texts he will text something like "Fine don't text back!" in a joking manner. I'm confused because I don’t know if he likes me or just enjoys the attention that I give him. This has stressed me out so much & I overanalyze it every day. I did tell him that I like him in December 2008 & he said he wasn't interested in a relationship because he got out of a 2 year relationship a few months before & his ex treated him badly. I dropped it & left him alone but he continued to communicate with me. It's not that I expect him to date me right now, but getting to know eachother in person doesn't seem like a lot to ask. I don’t ask him if he likes me or why we don’t spend more time together because I don’t want to scare him off or pressure him. I'd also like to mention that he's never even insinuated sleeping together so I don't believe that he's interested in just sex from me at this point. He's a respectful, good guy. I’m exhausted with this situation now & I would appreciate some help =(
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It looks like you already have your answer. You told him that you like him and he responded that he wasn't interested in a relationship. He told you straight out. End of story. I suspect that after your date ended in a hug he realized he wasn't going to "score" again and that's why he hasn't asked you out since. As for the constant texting, maybe he's into head games, or maybe he just wants to stay on your radar in case you change your mind about the "slutty girl" thing. In any case, drop this guy. Stop responding to his texts. He'll get the message eventually. And let this be a lesson learned. A one night stand is no way to attract a man you like. Mostly, it achieves just the opposite. You should be in a loving, committed relationship before you give the greatest gift a woman can offer a man, herself. That way you can be sure the man is attracted to YOU, and not just interested in sex, and you can pursue a healthy, exciting and fulfilling relationship.
You're the one in control here, you just don't realize it. By responding to his texts, you encourage his rude and confusing behavior. Let it go, there's someone better for you out there, and you may be missing him by spending so much energy on this flake.
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This is not the type of question I specialize in but I will give it a try.
If you were my daughter and came to me with what you have just written me, I would tell you to forget about this guy. You can do a lot better than someone like him and you certainly deserve better than someone like him.
It would appear to me that he is using you as someone to play with (texting) but not really interested in dating and getting to know you.
I will say to you what fathers have said to sons and daughters the world over: "there are plenty more fish in the sea". Forget about him, have fun being 19 and find someone who enjoys you for who you are.
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