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my boyfriend likes himself more than he likes me.
16/f, boyfriend is 17/m.
he's in this backyard wrestling federation, and i'll admit, he is VERY good at what he does. we live in Indiana, and he's been to Illinois, Ohio, Michigan, Tennessee, and Wisconsin to wrestle. in a week he's going to Pittsburgh to be in some other federation's show.
all things aside, he likes himself more than he likes me. his ego is..huge. he's cocky, yet confident, he's good at everything he does, and he knows it. i know he likes me, a lot a lot, but i don't like the fact that he puts himself before me. we've been together for almost two months, and it just hit me a few days ago. we were in his room, getting ready to go out on a date. i was looking in the mirror to see if i looked okay, and he said "Daaayum". thinking he was talking about me, i laughed and said "you like?". i turned around to see himself admiring his arms, not me.
i don't know what to do. do i fall into his shadow and appreciate that he's even with me, or what?
please help/
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There is no person so wonderful that you should just appreciate that he is with you. No one.
Because it doesn't sound like he's "with" anyone but himself. That's a ridiculous gas bag of an ego there.
Narcissism is a severe flaw. Everyone has their issues, self love is just his specific issue.
Here's the thing. Do you know how guys mature out of this phase and stop themselves? They get rejected because of it.
Is it possible he'll be able to turn the heads of fifty girls if you walked away, and get another girlfriend the next day? Sure. Is she going to be any happier than you are now? Probably not.
Self love to the level that he displays should be a deal-breaker. Everyone looks at themselves in a mirror, but he's got attention seeking behavior. He wants to be admired for the amazing person he's so sure he is.
Thing is, he's 17. And he's an idiot. In a few years no one will give a shit that he can wrestle. Maybe he'll go a little nuts and join UFC or something to prove his continued manhood. But other than the ability to get stupid women with low standards to sleep with him, his "wow" factor will disappear in less than three years.
When he thinks he's amazing and everyone else around him finds it too annoying to be around him and his room filling ego, he's going to get very bitter. Whoever he is dating will become the sole focus of his need for validation, and if she pushes for equality in the relationship it will result in a nuclear holocaust of emotional drama unlike anything you've ever seen.
Because he won't want to let go of the only person willing to feed his denial, but he won't want to let her act like a normal person who doesn't worship him. Get set for emotional manipulation.
This is almost formulaic. If you stay with him, you will validate his bullshit. He will not change, and you will slowly build yourself a storehouse of resentment that will make both of you miserable and destroy the relationship.
If you leave him, best case is he grows up. Worst case is that someone who is not you gets to deal with the dramabomb.
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