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My boyfriend is 19, is our relationship illegal?
Hey, I'm Hayley, and my boyfriend is 19. I was just wondering if there was any laws against the age of dating? I know they're laws against sex, but we haven't had sex and he hasn't forced me to do anything sexual at all. As a matter of fact, I don't even want to have sex until I'm married and ready.
I'm actually 13, and I've been called a whore for dating him. The names won't change how I feel about him, but some people just don't know how to shut up. Is our relationship, illegal? Can he be charged? Should we break up so he doesn't get in trouble?
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Convictions depend a lot on the area, the jury, and the evidence, but a DA could justify charging him for as little as a kiss on the mouth.
I'm not going to judge you. But I will warn you that this puts him in real danger. If you and he continue dating and it turns into a decent little relationship, the temptation is going to be overpowering. And it wouldn't take too much in the way of bad judgment to fuck his life up very, very badly.
It sounds like he cares about you, but that says a lot about him. You seem mature for your age. The phrase "mature for your age" has been used by kids for generations to justify themselves when going out of their depth.
A normal 19 year old should not be able to date a 13 year old. The most mature 13 year old on the planet is not in any way capable of being enough for a normal, relatively mature 19 year old. The only way for you two to work is for him to be immature in order to make up the gap.
That's not great. Hopefully, he grows up. But there are always chances that he won't. Things get ugly when a girl matures past her boyfriend. When you've been looking up to him for a couple of years, and then suddenly realize you've grown up and he hasn't, that loss in respect will be absolutely devastating to the relationship.
One last thing.
Six years isn't a huge gap later on in life. Not at all. My parents have a seven year gap between them. Just because a relationship is too dangerous to pursue now doesn't mean you can't later. In a few more years, you'll be better equipped to handle something like this, and if you still want to date him that option doesn't have to disappear.
I've known people who dated, broke up, and got back together a few years later. They weren't mature enough to handle something as serious as they had when they first met. Years later, they were. They'd both learned from failures and grown as people. They're married now.
Don't put him in danger. It would be selfish of you, and stupid of him. Ignore what people call you. It's not their business, and you aren't, as far as I can tell, doing this for the wrong reasons. You just can't take chances, this isn't detentions and grounding.
This is the sex offender registry. In Florida there are sex offenders that have to live under a bridge, because everything else in the city is too close to somewhere kids congregate for them to legally reside in.
This kid doesn't deserve that, but the justice system doesn't work much on deserve. Don't chance it.
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