So I dated this guy for two years. I always felt like something wasn't right. I finally broke up with him. And he isn't handling it well to say the least. I want to be his friend. And he says we can be friends, but he is still in love with me. I really care about him so i can't just cut him out of my life. we argue a lot. He is under a lot of stress at home and I feel like he needs me. His friends are all distant now and don't act in a way either of us approve of. So I'm really the only thing he has. I feel like an idiot but what do i do? He still acts like my boyfriend. He's extremely jealous even though I am not dating right now. I just have A LOT of guy friends. And I do like one of them. He gets mad when I don't answer my phone or don't reply to his texts and its driving me crazy. I know he needs time but how much time?! How long will it take for him to get over me and what can I do to make sure I don't hinder the process of falling out of love. I need him to turn into my friend. Is this even possible?
[ Answer this question ] Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category? Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life? bitterxsweet answered Friday June 19 2009, 4:23 am: i am going through the SAME EXACT thing so i totally feel you! the previous answer was right, you have to let him say his goodbyes and remove yourself from his life or he'll never grasp the concept that yall are over and move on. i went to a guy friend of mine for my own advice and he said honestly that in a guy's eyes, if you stick around talking to him, trying to be his friend, anything, that he'll have all the false hope in the world that he can get you back, whether you show interest or not, he'll be flat out determined to try to win you back. i know what you mean by being all he has, but you can't let that burden you and i'm coming to terms with that myself. honestly, his life WILL go on without you. yes it'll suck, but it will go on. yes it'll hurt and you may feel like you're betraying and abandoning him, but you have to do what's best for you. being friends right now is NOT possible. maybe in time, but not now. give him closure, and then step out of his life. the sooner you do, the easier it'll be. good luck! inbox me if you need more help =] [ bitterxsweet's advice column | Ask bitterxsweet A Question ]
Roxy07 answered Friday June 19 2009, 3:30 am: Ok.. first of all.. it's easy enough for you to say here because you are the one who lost feelings. He still loves you. Try to be in his position. He just lost the most important thing in his life.
In saying this, if you care about him, you will leave him alone. Try not to be his friend. It isn't possible. If you think he is jealous now wait until you do start dating...??!
My suggestion here is to allow him to say his goodbye's and you walk away for good. You can't just keep hanging yourself infront of him as it gives him false hopes. Yes he may need a friend right now but that friend can't be you.
You need to work out your feelings and decide if you want him in your life and be his girlfriend or cut him out completely regardless of how much you do care.
It will make him a stronger person down the track!!
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