|
Yeah I think I'm done
Pretty much everything you said is what I was thinking and feeling. I kinda feel like she is just walking all over me. Taking advantage of my niceness. It really upsets me because of how I feel about her. If I didn't love her, it would be so easy to just leave. I hate being at the very bottom of her priority list. I understand that she isn't in love with me, but she told me she wanted to make it work. And she even said that she still looks at me as her best friend, but she isn't treating me like that. She is being extremely selfish and treating me like crap. I haven't talked to her yet today, and I am very curious to see what she is going to say. I have a feeling that she is going to tell me she is going to come home tonight. But she knows I was pissed that she didn't come yesterday. Too little too late. I really think I am going to stop being the loving, caring, forgiving, and understanding husband that I have been. It almost makes me feel like less of a man that I have been letting her walk all over me. I am actually letting her do this to me, and I'm ashamed of that. It must have a lot to do with me being dependent on her like I said before. I need to get my head out of my ass and really start focusing on myself. It just sucks cause I don't really have anywhere to go. Maybe I should just ask her to leave again. I don't know. It's so overwhelming. My brain hurts. LOL thanks for listening. You really are great. I do wish my wife could be more like you. I will keep you updated.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
haha. when i started to read your response to my question, i said, "oh lord, what i am going to hear now". i kinda got scared. but in a funny way. as it relates to the other guy, yes he is married, and i knew this when i started the affair. i don't want him to leave his wife for me. this is like you said only an affair. he (the other guy) knows how i feel about wanting kids, he knows the whole story. so he is fine with it. we enjoy being with each other and if it so happens that i become pregnant by him then i will be quite fine with that. we actually discussed this a few times, he asked me if i would tell him if it is his child or not. i told him i don't know, but i know that i would, he is a real stand up guy. would i tell my husband, hell no, the reason being is that it would bring total chaos to my household. to many questions to answer. you asked if my husband found out what would he do, he would probally kill both of us. but i am sure he would leave and then do the same thing you did, try to get me back after a while. although i cheated, i am still the best thing that has ever happened for him and he knows this. have i given him my heart, hmmm.., i think have given him a portion, not the full thing. i try to keep a barrier between us and not allow myself to fall totally in love with him because i know that it would be hard for me to let go. and i know this isn't the case now, i can let go whenever i want to. i have before. but a part of me does love him. i have given my marriage everything just like you said, and i know the affair is immoral, but i am at a crossroad in my life. it is true that i want a loving happy marriage, but i want this from my husband. if i were to leave him, i don't think that i would want to get married anytime soon. when i do it again, i will be sure to do it right this time. my next husband will be my very best friend. i need a man that i can tell anything to and him not get upset. i need a loving, caring, romantic and compassionate man, not a joker. trust me when i tell you, i would have learned from my mistakes. if i were to end it with my husband, i will of course end it with the other guy as well, because that is when i will start fresh on my search for "mr. right". so i am not really looking for a future with this other guy, if that is what you are thinking. however, i must admit, if he were single, i would have given up my marriage to be with him. when i was going through some difficult times with my husband, he asked me what it was that i wanted to do, he asked me if i wanted to stay in my marriage or did i want to leave. he said that he knew that i would be much happier with him, which he was right about, but the fact that he is married is why i didn't leave. i know that i should begin my search for mr. right, but for me, i usually put the needs of others before my own. i keep telling myself, if i leave my husband, life for him and his son will be very hard, and i don't want to hurt them. also, we just moved into our own home about two years now, and i pump all of my savings into fixing it up the way i want it look and i really don't want to start over again. i know that it won't be hard for me because i am a very striving, independent person and people seem to find favor with me. as for my husband, he is not. i have already invested 10 years with my husband and i am just waiting on a return on my investment. what i am saying is that i really don't want to just flush all of that down the drain. yes it is true that i want my husband to be more like this guy, even though i know this guy also has his flaws, but i haven't seen them as yet and i hope i never do. i know that no relationship is perfect, and like i always say, you know what you have but don't know what you are going to get. i know that my husband loves me a whole lot, but he just doesn't know how to show it. i know that if he were more financially stable, that i would want or need for nothing. but for me i just feel like i am tired of settling for less in my life and i think i want and deserve more. i know that the next man that comes along may pretend to love me, may pretend to be mr. right, then when you marry then, they switch. this is what i fear. my husband, when i met him, in my eyes, was mr. perfect, almost everything about him was perfect, with the exception of a few thing like i knew he was a smoker, which i totally hated, but was willing to overlook because everything else about him was good. only to discover that this would be the cause of almost all of our arguments in our marriage. over the years of being married, he changed little by little for the worse. but i must admit that since i left him the last time and told him that i wanted a divorce and he really saw that i was serious this time and actually went and filed the papers, he has changed a bit. still can use some improvement, but it is ok now. i am just glad for the fact that we don't argue much anymore because this is what bothered me the most. i really am ok with his behavior, but for me i really want kids and i don't think i can overlook this. if he refuses to oblige then i will continue the affair and that is how it is going to be. at least i know if i try with someone else and it doesn't happen, then i know that maybbe there is a problem with me, but i hate the fact that he just sits there everyday as my clock is ticking and won't even make an effort to think about my feelings. that's why i am and will continue to be rebelous. this is my major issue with him for right now and also the fact that i need him to be more of a financial provider. he can accomplish these then we would be ok. when i was giving you advice i was saying the same thing, that i should be taking my own advice. lol. well ain't life something! and yes, you did do ok, however, everything you said, i already told myself over and over again. i am the type of person, who thinks long and hard before i make a decision. and i usually give warnings before i make my move, so you cannot say that you were not forewarned. p.s. i forgot to tell you happy fathers day.
]
More Questions: |