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You know you are a very intelligent woman. I read your response a few times because you said a few things in there that really made a lot of sense. I did love the fact that she was dependent on me, and I now realize that maybe this is why I never seen this coming. I’ve told you before that I had no idea that things were going bad. I thought we had a perfect marriage. Well maybe it’s because she was so dependent on me, that I could do no wrong. She was never going to leave me, or cheat on me, or anything like that. She needed me, therefore would put up with all of my shit. I didn’t do this on purpose, maybe subconsciously I felt this way. But it makes perfect sense. And like your husband, I have also become dependent on my wife. Do you think that this is a quality that my wife doesn’t like? You said that you didn’t like that your husband was dependent on you. Do you think if I became more independent it would help win her back? And if so, how do I do that? She told me that she doesn’t want to rush into sex right now, which will be very hard for me considering how sexually attracted to her I am right now. But should I initiate any form of intimacy (Holding hands, hugging, cuddling) or should I just back off and wait for her to come to me. This is a very tough question because I feel that intimacy is very important and could also help those feelings come back. I mean if we were just starting off as a new couple I would be doing those things, and the whole point is to go back and start over. To become the man I once was. So I don’t know what the right play is. And what are some other things that I should be doing now that we are both trying to make it work?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I cannot say whether or not your wife prefers for you to not be dependent upon her, but I know for a fact that most women want a man who can carry his own weight and then some of hers. But if you know for a fact that you have become dependent upon her, then maybe you should make an effort to become a more independant person. Take the initiative to pay the household bills, certain bills that she pays, every now and again when you have some extra money, volunteer to pay or at least contribute to some of her bills. Sometimes we as women say things that we really don't mean, but we expect our men to be able tell the difference whether we mean it or not. I say this to say this, your wife said that she doesn't want to rush into sex, what she is saying to you is not that she doesn't want to have sex with you. Although she said she doesn't want to rush she may be wanting to have sex with you the very minute she said that, but expects for you to be able to know when she means it or when she is just kidding. For example, with me, sometimes my husband will touch me flirtingly, and I would tell him to stop or "not tonight", when deep down I am saying don't stop, keep going. So women give mixed signals, but you need to observe her body language and see what her body is telling you and ignore what her mouth is saying, that is how you will know for sure what she really wants. You asked should you just back off and wait for her to come to you, the answer is "HELL TO THE NO". She asked for more from her relationship, give her more. I am not telling you to crowd her, all I am saying is for you to show her that you care and love her, do things like kiss her on her neck while she is in the kitchen cooking or while she is taking a nap rub her back or give her gentle kisses on her back or even a nice soft massage. While she is doing the laundry, sneak up behind her and give a passionate kiss. Things like this is what will earn you the privelage of making love to your wife again, and the quicker you get into the game of showing her your affection, the quicker you will be getting some action. If you know what i mean. When she comes home from work, meet her at the door and embrace her with a big hug and say "honey I love you, how was your day" or something of that sort. And for God's sake do not ask the woman how was her day and not be interested in hearing the answer. LOL. Remember, women talk three times as much as men do, so we have alot to say. Let me give you my idea of a perfect man and maybe this will help you. My perfect man is a man who starts the morning off by waking up in the morning and greeting me with a kiss and telling me that he loves me. A man that has a job and pays his bills and some of my bills. A man that calls me at least once a day just to say he loves me or was thinking about me. He doesn't have to call, he can send a text, I think that is more romantic. It will bring a smile to her face especially when it is unexpected. I don't like to be bothered to much when i am at work, so if you call me too often i will become irate. A man who takes me out to lunch at least twice per week, to dinner at least once per month. I can appreciate a man who cleans up after himself and not expect me to do all the work. I love attention, so I am miserable when I don't get it. I love a man who knows how to give a woman the attention she deserves. A man who knows how to perform in bed and doesn't have sex only when he wants it and forgets about the needs of his partner. A man who is willing to go to church with me on Sunday's. A man who likes to have fun, and for me the most important thing I want is a man who is like my best friend, who i can share any and everything with without him getting upset. When I go to bed at night he embraces me with a hug and says he love me. A man who is willing to put in quality time and willing to take me out for a romantic evening at least once or twice per month. A man who is not afraid to express his feelings and emotions with me. This ismy idea of a perfect man. Deep down you may be asking yorself, she wants all this, what am i going to get in return. I can guarantee you, if you treat your woman like a queen, she will inturn treat you like a king. Hope this helps.
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