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Girlfriend potential?
This is kind of a weird question. Wasn't sure where to categorize it.
I'm 24/f. I've met this guy and I've known him for a little over two years. I really enjoy his company, and I really like him. I know he likes me too, that isn't really the problem. The problem is, I live like 4 states away, so we usually see each other every 2 months. Well, the last time I saw him was in March '09. He has a really good job, and so it's hard for him to take time off work. The thing is.. like I want this to go further. He asked me if I'd move down to where he lives, and I said yes. I really want this to happen, but I don't know how to approach him about it. I want to be his girlfriend, but I also don't know how to bring it up. I feel like I'm sitting here potentially waiting for something to happen, that realistically won't ever.. I want to bring it up in conversation, but I'm not sure how.
I really don't know what to do! Any advice would be greatly appreciated! :)
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Has he asked you to live WITH him or just move to the town he lives in? It sounds to me like he's asked you to move closer to him, which is surely a sign he's at least interested in pursuing in a relationship with you. However, "I want to be his girlfriend but I also don't know how to bring it up" suggests there is nothing defined about your relationship yet, and moving to a new state is a BIG deal. Before you commit to moving to a completely new state, ask yourself, "Could I be happy in this place even if the relationship didn't work out? Is this somewhere I would consider moving if this guy weren't there? Is this a place I can make friends, find a job I like and find a place to fit in, independent of this guy?" If the answer to any of those questions is no, stay put and continue the long distance thing until you are more sure about your relationship. I get that you really like him, and that's exciting, but you need to get a little more clarity on this relationship and its potential before you uproot your whole life to move closer to him. Use the time apart to do your research and evaluate yourself, your goals and what you really want for your future, and try to enjoy the whole "absence makes the heart grow fonder" thing!
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if you really like this guy as much as you say then make the first step.
in this type of relationship time is important. Don't be afraid! if this guy likes you so much then he wouldn't come visit you from four states away every 2 moths if he doesn't want commitment. This guy is holding on to you because he cares and he is afraid you don't want the same thing so talk to him about living together. Don't be afraid to start talking about it because he might want the same thing. Just be brave! I mean you already said yes so go to the next step.
lifescomplicated
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Well, you've pretty much gotten the hard part out of the way. You know that he likes you, and he must like you quite a lot to want you to live with him. now you just have to bring it up in conversation. The next time you're talking about moving down there, say something along the lines of, "So what do you consider us? As far as dating or just friends or what?"
You don't really have to worry about him saying that you're just friends since you already know he likes you. When you ask that, it will open the subject up and get you both talking about what you would consider your relationship title to be.
You can also tie the other thing right in there. The next time you're talking about moving down there, say, "Yeah, I really want to do that. When are you wanting me to move down there?" That will show that you're serious about it and that you're just waiting for the 'go'. After that, you can work together to make the transition from your current place to his current place.
Hope this helps!
Darby(:
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