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My Ex and Me
17/f
in 9th grade i was bestfriends with this gurl Alyssa and this new guy came to our school his name is Emo and when i first saw him i liked him but Alyssa got to him first and so i had to push my feelings away and force friendship...and soon all three of us were really good friends..but one day Alyssa got into a car accident and the impact from the back of the drivers seat crushed her nose and part of her face so she was in the hospital for a very long time, mean while it used to be Alyssa,emo and me walkin down the halls but now it was just me and emo so we were both going through a lot of pain, which without her, it made us closer emotionally...and she got better but then not long after she cheated on him, and by this time he could tell me anything...so it was hard because her being my bestfriend i was telling him that she would never cheat on him, but i was wrong so it hurt me that i lied to him for her soo then he broke up with her and i didn't like Alyssa very much because she hurt him so me and Emo became closer and not but two weeks after we started dating...being with him was the best feeling i have ever felt...which was almost two years ago...he made me feel incredible..i can't recall a happier time...so anyways then we dated for almost four months and i heard rumors that he cheated on me with Alyssa and it was true he even told me...i was upset but he wasn't sure about our relationship he felt bad and so he broke up with me and i have had bad months trying to get over him he was able to move on but i havn't dated since we broke up which was nov. 28, 2007 and i had lots of drama with Alyssa but we are friends again today..and then i was finally getting over him. (2008, May) i was hangin with my parents when suddenly he called me and told me he wanted to be us again but shortly after Emo had gotten into some trouble and had to move half-way across the state (he is in foster-care) so we have been writing eachother back and forth thru mail and we started fallin for eachother again everytime i got a letter i cried..cuz i was happy and the lastime i saw him was in march or may of 2008.i cried cuz i wasn't over him....so he is supposed to come back July this year (2009) and its been a lil over a year i havnt seen him but yesterday Sunday (6/7/08) he was in town for a grad. party and i went with my friend Alyssa to see him and i had planned to tell him we were just gonna be friends but once i saw him memories came back and my adrenaline was pumping and i noticed the only reason i was to tell him we were just friends is because thats what everyone else wanted even my mom but i can't let him go.. and we didn't talk at first but he was tryin to get me to talk and hug him but i was afraid i would cry...overall he didn't want me to leave he kept makin excuses for me to stay but i cudn't and so when we left i cried so hard when i was walkin down my road to my house all i could think about was being with him and i didn't want his feelings to leave me again so i had thoughts of suicide because i just knew i cudn't be with him without someone being mad at me....i don't know what to do??? so PLEASE PLEASE give me advice i will never forget it Bless You
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These situation are very hard because no matter what, no one can tell you what to do. You cant help how you feel. The best that I can tell you is to sit down and really reflect on the past few years and try to sort your thoughts and feelings. Think about what the ideal outcome of all this would be for you. And then take a step back into reality and think about what outcome would benfit you and your life the most. You obviously have very strong feelings for this guy and that does show something. But just dont let any one take advantage of you or walk on you. Its okay to give someone a second chance and let them back into your life but just be cautious. keep your guard up for a little while.
Im sorry I cant give you better advice but Ive been in situations similar to this before and I know that no one can tell you what to do and even if they try to chances are you will still do whats in your heart. My best piece of advice is its okay to love, but just always make sure you love yourself more.
I wish you the aboslute best and feel free to message me anytime.
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I hope Emo isn't his real name, poor kid. But anyway... since you "took him back" that fast after he left, he is now going to feel free to come and go whenever he pleases.
By the way, just because Alyssa liked him at the beginning meant you had to not like him? That's a big problem in itself.
But I don't understand what you're confused about. He lives far away. There's nothing you can do. You can keep writing him, but it's not like he's going to be able to move back, is it? Don't kill yourself over this. Boys will come and go. But remeber to always do what YOU want, and if you want to keep writing him...feel free to do so.
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