im 40 (man) and live in chicago she 23 lives in michigan we have been talking for 1 yr and a half we have fallen in love to the point of she had said she allways wanted to be with me and planned a future allthough we talk sevreal times a day she has put off meeting and now says she is overwhelmed with our realtionship and wants to slow down is she with someone else? or is it her age ? why the big change she has written me many letters and cards saying how she wants us to be a (family)and she never wants to not be in my life and im the man she has been lookin for she does like older guys but im the oldest she has met and she says she has fallen for me we do exchange pics and cam and exchange gifts im toatally in love with her as well she is a smart profesional woman college educated and im a single father with a house what do i do to find the truth out she has a difficult time expressing her self unlike before were she allways told me she wanted us to allways be toghether she said shes becomeing messhed with me and shes geting scared i know she does love me ive tryed to break away and she crys and says she doesnt not want me in her life ? im so confused and in love ,,,help
[ Answer this question ] Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category? Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life? Darby answered Tuesday June 2 2009, 10:36 pm: I think it's exactly like she said. She's only 23 and still in college. She's getting ready to start her career life and family life. Of course she's overwhelmed. Maybe she didn't think of the seriousness of your relationship until now. Since she has put off meeting you, it makes me think that she likes the security and support of your relationship, but not much more. Now that it's getting down to the wire and it's time for her to follow through with all the dreams and plans she said she had, she's getting nervous. She cries when you try to break away from her because she doesn't want to lose your support and love.
She's seventeen years younger than you. You should have your life in order by now. She's just now starting to arrange her life the way she wants it. If you're trying to get her to move to Chicago to be with you, maybe the problem is that she wants to stay close to home. Maybe she's scared of what her parents would think about the age difference.
She's probably scared since she hasn't met you in person before. She might be thinking about all the bad things that could and do happen daily to people that meet others on the internet. I'm sure you're a fine guy, but she doesn't know that for sure. It would probably be a lot easier for her if you lived nearby.
You need to talk to her and lay things out for her. Let her know that you understand that she's at a confusing stage in her life. But you also need to tell her that you're ready to have a serious relationship. Tell her that you want her near you and at your age, you don't have time to play games with people. Tell her that the way she's behaving is very contradicting and that it's leaving you confused and hurt. Tell her that if she needs you out of her life until she gets things straightened out, you understand.
Just_Me answered Tuesday June 2 2009, 6:59 pm: Hello! Well, I think she does love you just as much as you love her, but I think that she is just overwhelmed. I know it may not make the most sense, but I totally understand. Think of it this way, she really wants to be with you, (or else she would not cry for you)she probably just has a lot to think about. My father had the same problem, he was about your age and the woman was about 25 or 24. They liked each other vey much and wanted to be together. When she says she is scared, she is probably scared of commitment. I know for a fact she loves you but she is just thinking about her feelings about you. Try not to worry. Best of luck to you! Hope this helps =) [ Just_Me's advice column | Ask Just_Me A Question ]
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