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Is this the right thing to do with him?
Me: 13/F. Him: 14/m.
Okay well here's the background info: He has always gone to my school so I've known him practically my whole life, but I only started falling for him last year. I REALLY fell for him. It was last summer. We began talking all of the time and hanging out a lot too because our groups are pretty tight. We became really close, and then school started. I was certain that once school started we would drift apart. Wrong. We only spent more time together and grew closer. We both knew we liked eachother but decided we wouldn't date bcuz we didn't think we were mature enough to handle a relationship. But we still had feelings for eachother. I would get jelous like a girlfriend even though I wasn't one. And he would get protective like a boyfriend even though he wasn't one. And yet we still talked to eachother more than the "real couples" in our grade. Then, we found he would be moving at the end of the year that's when it was decided there would be absolutly no dating. I didnt need to date a boy when 1. I am only 13 and 2. He would be moving. No thank you. He agreed. Well again... That still didnt make the feelings go away which brings me to present day...
He is starting to try and make a boyfriend girlfriend relationship and I keep having to tell him (as much as I dont want to) no. I still really like him, I always have, but I'm trying so hard not to. Hes leaving soon, I know I have to stop liking him, but I can't. Especially when hes doing all he can to make sure I dont. He asked me on a date the other day and as much as it killed me I told him no. I am trying to get over him! He thinks I dont like him anymore. But I do. And I'm so confused. Is this the right thing to do? My friends tell me I should try to get as much of him as I can before he leaves but they dont understand how much more painful doing that will make it when he is gone. Does anyone understand this? The more I continue to open up to him, the more its going to hurt. Ugh its killing me. I dont know what to do or if what I am doing is right. I dont want to hurt him but I dont want to get hurt either. Can't he see that I'm trying to do us bot. a favor?? Help please! What do you think I should do?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Maybe he can't see that you are trying to do the mature thing, for both of you. Perhaps you will have to tell him point blank how you feel about him and how you feel about the whole situation. He's not a mind reader.
You seem to have something very special with this boy, as young as you both are, you have a special bond that doesn't come along very often, even in the adult world.
That said, I would talk it out with him. Explain to him that his moving will just cause heartache. Perhaps the two of you could keep in touch via telephone or email. Keep it on a friendship basis and if you still feel the same in a few years....you may have the makings of a great relationship.
I went to school (long, long ago) with a girl and a boy who used to be very close. They were your age. All through school and after graduation they were close. They ended up married and very happily. They are now in their late 50's. It can happen.
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Personally, I think what your doing now is fine. Of course it's hard for you, but why in the world is he pushing to date if he is LEAVING? Is he just trying to cause problems? Because seriously, in what way would you both NOT get hurt from that. Take it froms someone older (not in a talking down to you sort of way in an advice because you asked sort of way), there are going to be other guys, you are completely right in what you've said about too young and him not being there for much longer. Of course it's hard, life can be that way sometimes. Stick to your guns so to speak and don't cave. Tell this guy the truth. "I really like you, care about you, and wish I could be with you, but I am still not ready for a real relationship let alone a long distance one, so why do you feel it is so important all of a sudden to date?" Hang in there, you've got the right idea, but then again, this is just my opinion. Look, whatever advice you decided to take or what you choose to do, good luck. Also, if it's meant to be, it'll be, keep that in mind as well.
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