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going down?
my boyfriend admitted tonight that hes upset because he cant make me orgasm. it hurts me to be fingered, and we never have sex long enough to climax (he still lives at home and his parents sometimes interrupt).
i give him handjobs all the time, and it pleasures him, but he still doesnt know how to fully pleasure me. i keep reassuring him that i dont need him to pleasure me, but he really gets upset. maybe he feels like hes not doing his job or something? i dont know, im not in his head.
his friend mentioned that he should go down on me, and then i go down on him. he said it'll "drive me wild". i'm waaaaay iffy on oral sex. it took me forever just to get used to the idea of giving my boyfriend a handjob! and hes never seen my body before. im very modest and i guess a little old fashioned? i dont know how to prepare for that. i dont even know if i really want him down there...but i cant decide if i should give it a try or not.
can i get girls and boys opinions on this certain subject? if you're afraid you might get banned for answering a sex question, then just send me a private message.
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If you aren't sure whether or not to do this and are this uncomfortable it means DON'T. At least, don't yet. Instead, talk to him about what he's upset about and make sure he knows this isn't an issue. Aside from that there's not much you can do but tell him you don't think he's a lousy boyfriend.
The problem is with his head and his insecurities. Only he can convince himself that what you're telling him is true. You could also tell him that you're interested in oral sex but don't feel ready yet and want to talk, learn and decide on it in the future.
If you aren't prepared, don't want him to see or touch your body especially private parts than you aren't ready and shouldn't even attempt it. Trust what your gut tells you about sexual matters and don't rush. Right now you should read up about sexual practices together, get comfortable and plan things so you're safe and feel comfortable.
If you don't feel 100% that you want to do this or iffy or anything other than totally sure it's what you want do yourself a huge favor and don't. You'll regret it--believe me.
Also ask yourself if this is really the guy I want seeing my body and to be doing this with? Am I doing it just to satisfy his ego? You owe him nothing really including trying to make him feel secure sexually.
Also you say you know how to pleasure him but he doesn't for you. The problem may be as simple as communicating exactly what you want and instructing him in the moment. He's not likely to understand what to do. Remember you are the expert on your body and the female body and not him. He's trying to figure things out blindly.
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I am a guy, just so you now. As far as the advice, well honestly some people are not very good. It is normal for someone to feel guilty because they cannot please someone. It is even more normal for a guy to not know how to please a girl. I suggest looking it up online, its pure anatomy.
If that doesn't work, its also could be something mental in YOUR court. From personaly experience, some girls don't LET themselves relax enough to get pleased. If that is the issue, then you need to find a way through it, and learn to relax. Some girls who are very modest and uncomfortable have trouble letting themselves go in those circumstances.
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I think it's great as long as you're comfortable doing it. There are girls that only orgasm from oral. Maybe you're just one of them? I understand that you're modest about it though. If you're not comfortable, don't do it. But if you are comfortable with your boyfriend, you can at least try it. If he starts to do it and you're really not feeling comfortable with it, just tell him to stop. Make sure he knows that you're not fully comfortable with it if he doesn't know already. It sounds like you guys have good communication since he was willing to admit that it upsets him that he can't make you orgasm. Just let him know how you feel about it and tell him that if you're not feeling good about it, you'll just tell him to stop and you'll try something else.
Darby(:
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i can tell you a bit about it but i feel much better if u send me a private messq okaii !! i can probabli help you.....
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