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What The..?
okay well i used to think mastubating was so bad and "god" would punish me for doing it-crazy things like god taking away my personality or something like that. So i stopped. But now my views are different, such as i don't believe in the bible let alone the god people say there is. I mean, i believe theres a higher power- like a force of the universe- but not at all that its going to punish me. And besides, i'm a good person, so why should masturbating make me a bad person? I think they'res nothing wrong with doing it now-but after doing it those feelings of "he's going to take this or that away from me" still come up? I mean, i was raised catholic and i am being forced to go to confirmation-but i don't believe in any of it.Even if there is a god, i wouldn't think of him/her as this menace that gives humans rules to live by. Saying being gay is a sin, girls can't get there periods- it just isn't what i think this so called god would make you do.I think he would be more a best and trusted friend who loves you no matter what.(i very SLIGHTLY believe in him/her.hardly.) So back to my question- If i don't exactly believe in the catholic god,and don't consider myself catholic in any way- why do i still feel like he or she's going to "punish" me for mastubating?! I feel guilty? any help on this? thanks.
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welcome, fellow reformed catholic. If god punished masturbators, I'm sure he would've struck my ass down when he had the chance in afghanistan. you're programmed to think its immoral. thats why you're conflicted, and thats why I used to be the world's worst self loathing whoremonger. trust me, if you think its bad with masturbating, try soliciting a prostitute. Thats one of those moments, like in firefights, when you finally see your true self. its not pretty, I'll tell you that right off the bat, and I don't think you can ever change your scumbag rating afterwards. enjoy your alone time, and don't worry, you haven't committed any of the totally damning sins yet.
-gunner
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Because the response is subconscious.
Emotions can become a trained reaction. Think about patience. When someone pisses you off, your amount of patience for what they did that angered you lessens, and you get pissed very quickly the next time they do it.
Its the same way with guilt. Over time, you can be conditioned to feel certain emotions in connection with behaviors. Its basically using your insecurity against you. People have a hard time figuring out whats true, what is right and wrong in life. If you take someone and surround them with messages that aren't true, but the person has no other information to go on, often times its impossible to know the difference.
God isn't going to punish you for masturbating. Actually, it states in the bible that he promised Noah never to visit vengeance on human kind again after the floods, and Jesus's sacrifice was supposed to be a reinforcement of that.
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I could tell you were raised Catholic before you even said so. It's understandable why you feel that way, because it's been drilled into your head your entire life by your family and the church. It will take a while for those feelings to dissipate, but they will fade away if you work at it. I'm assuming since you're being "forced" to go to confirmation, you're not eighteen yet and still live with your parents. This will be a lot easier when you grow up and move out of your parents' house. Then you won't be subject to their will. You could try out some protestant churches of varying denominations who might view God as more of a friend who loves you no matter what. You could even attend a non-denominational church.
In the mean time, however, you do have to deal with your parents. How to do this depends on what kind of parents they are. Are they understanding, and will they listen to you if you tell them how you feel, or will they dismiss your concerns immediately and tell you to go to the Catholic church or else? Try talking to them about your concerns. If it doesn't work and they won't budge, be patient. When you are out on your own you can go to whatever church you want or not at all.
In the mean time, with the guilty feelings just keep telling yourself you're not wrong. Listen to people who tell you you're not wrong. Masturbation is natural. Everyone does it. Your priest does it. Anyone who says they don't/haven't is lying. You shouldn't feel guilty.
Good luck with this, and I hope it works out for you. Also, I hope you stop feeling those guilty feelings, because they really are not good for you.
-NoCandy
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You still have those feelings of guilt because you were raised that way. You are used to associating sexual things with God being angry or dirty things. You need to try to keep telling yourself that sexuality and masturbation is normal. It is human nature to be sexual and it is okay to explore those feelings. Whether you believe in God or not, you're sexuality isn't going to go away because that's not how hormones work. You can't just make those urges go away, nor should you try. In time, you will become more comfortable with your sexuality and begin to really feel that God isn't angry at you just because you have hormones that make you horny.
Hope this helps,
Darby
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