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boy/girl/girl__ i feel stuck
15/f
hey, im a girl. i need advice on something totally crazy but i really dont know what to do.
so like three months ago i met this kid who altar served like me and i got his number and stuff. from the first day we talked i liked him but he told me he had a girlfriend, which i was ok because i dont like when people cheat. so anyways like this month we have been talking nonstop everyday and i love it. i invited him to this big highschool dance because i thought it would be cool to hang out because that is the day of our confirmation retreat. so he said yes but hes not telling his girlfriend because this is a dance were there is major grinding and he thought she would get mad. and its not like were going to do anything wrong also hes basing his whole decision of dating me on that whole day.
so lately ive been telling my friends how he is going and that hes been telling me hes excited and stuff. they started to give me crap because he still has a girlfriend and hes not telling her about me at all which were just talking so it doesnt matter but i really think that it does. like i asked him if he would date me and he said he would but like he likes his girlfriend more which i totally get but like should i even wait for this guy.
this is probably totally confusing but i dont know what to do at all. i was thinking of uninviting him to the dance because that is causing confusion but he said hes making a decision off that day if were like compatible. thats why were spending the WHOLE day together but i just dont know what to do. if that made at all sense to you can you please help me on what to do.
PLEASE!
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Look give him a chance don;t uninvite him. Then if he doesn't you guys would make it as a couple. Then tell him to either tell his girlfriend or you are going to have to stop talking to him. Because being the other girl is no fun. Trust me I have had girls tell me about it (i'm a guy) and its not good to be the other girl. So you need to give him a chance there could be something there, so just wait and see.
Good Luck!
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Un-invite him.
Your gut feeling is bang on. Although this guy is very carefully not doing anything 'technically' wrong, you are right to feel he is behaving dishonestly. He is.
What bussiness does a guy in a relationship have deciding if you and he are COMPATIBLE? None, none at all.
Cheating is definately bad, but really, any kind of betrayal is a problem, and you are right to stick to your principals and have no part in that. Not just because it's wrong, but because it will cause you pain you don't want or need.
Tell him straight up that you think your plans have confused your friendship and that you are no longer comfortable with him coming to the dance. Don't apologize, and don't blame, but don't let him come along either.
If he can't respect you for defining what behavior you find acceptable, and refusing to play along as he misleads his partner and expirements with you, then he isn't compatible with you anyways.
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