|
Difficult choice i have to make and have no idea what to do.
I am a 21 year old male. I've been with my girlfriend for over 3 years. We love each other very much even though we had our ups and downs. My parents have hated her ever since the beginning because i come from Egyptian parents and they dont believe in having girlfriends.They have begged me many times to not be with her. Her parents love me and i'm always welcomed at their home.We've been together for 3 years and now shes pregnant. Her parents have said they will support us in any decision we make. I have yet to tell my parents because i know how they will react. They are religous people and believe in waiting to get married before having kids. I will most likely be kicked out of the house. My girlfriends decision is to keep the baby and i am disagreeing because we both are financially struggling with debt, and because of the situation with my parents. Now she has told me if we don't keep it she doesn't want to be with me anymore. So I'm stuck to choose between her or my family. I have no idea what to do.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
This is not a choice between her and your family.
Don't call it that, and don't set it up that way in your mind. It's disrespectful to her to set her up as the enemy to your family (it sounds exactly like the position they have tried to put her in the past!) and it's a cop-out as well: You are trying to make this into something it isn’t to make the choice easier. Stop that.
The choice is yours, all yours. Your family may be a factor, but it's not a 'her or them' thing.
IT IS ALL ON YOU.
YOU dated her. YOU fucked her. YOU took this risk. YOU disagree with her choices.
That makes this about YOUR brain, YOUR thoughts, YOUR opinion and YOUR choice, not about your family’s opinions and culture.
She has made her choice it seems: She's going to keep the baby.
Legally, and from a purely pragmatic point of view, that is her choice to make. Sorry babe. It’s not really quite ‘fair’ that the woman has more say in the abortion debate then the man, but she does, and until you can host the little parasite for nine months and turn into an on-demand vending machine afterwards, she always will.
So, the choice YOU have to make is to stay with her and be a father, despite the disapproval of your family and the difficult financial situation OR to decide you don't want to have to deal with those things, and break up with her and lie to your family.
I’m not going to judge you here. If you don’t want to be a dad, and can’t face your parents, and don’t want to be with her as a parent, Good for you for acknowledging that! Do the mature thing and back out of this relationship NOW, before either of you get too invested in the illusion of a happy little family.
]
More Questions: |