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I've got your boyfriend WHIPPED! lol
I asked this guy out that I met at the place where I used to work. Well, we started talking on the phone everyday, but about 2 weeks since we had started talking I lost my phone, so for about a week I didn’t have contact with him at all. When I was still in the process in getting a new phone, I went over to one of my friend’s house, and my friend Sarah* said that she knew him AND also knew the fact that he has a fiancé. To be honest I was completely shocked because in a MONTH he had never mentioned or even hinted anything about a girlfriend, much less a fiancé. When I confronted him about it, he said that I never asked him, so he didn’t feel he had to tell me. He didn’t even get her an engagement ring; its just a so-called “vow”. However, BECAUSE he didn’t tell me I just assumed he was single.
The thing is, this past week, we have hung out almost everyday. I get along with his friends and am really starting to like him; WAY more than I should. For me, this is a big deal because I am almost 19 years old, and have been in probably 9-12 relationships over the past 6 years, but have not ONCE felt the way I feel when I am with him. I have a very hard time trusting people, so therefore I have never been heartbroken because I just don’t get attached. When I am around him I can’t keep my eyes OR my hands off him. I get nervous, my heart starts beating 100 miles a minute, people say I act too happy sometimes, and I feel those darn butterflies that people always talk about. I think about him all the time and catch myself in a daze in almost every class. I check my phone every 5 minutes (no joke either) to see if he has called me and I find myself always wanting to be with or around him. I know he likes me, mainly because he tells me and acts like he does in addition. We definitely have some chemistry; and its absolutely one-in-a-kind. We have NOT had sex, and he doesn’t pressure me to have sex, although it has come up a few times in conversation. Every time I see him its 10x harder to leave him… He calls me ALL the time, just to say hey and we talk for HOURS on end. I have this cough thing (kinda like *ahem*ahem*) that he responds to whenever I do it. He listens and responds to everything I say without me asking him to do so; His friends say that "ive got him whipped" and that he should be with me… and im not even trying to give them that idea. He takes me fishing with him and his friends, and picks me up all the time… His own fiancé wont even go out of the house unless its to get food or to go shopping with him.
So I guess my question is, should I stick with him, and see where it leads, or just get out of there as fast as I can? And do you think he really likes me, or is he playing me (even though there isn’t any sex happening). Keep in mind, its hard for me to get attached, so I mean I am emotionally stable and I am NOT worried about getting hurt. Im just wondering if in the long haul, what would be the smarter thing to do… Should I even still be his friend or leave it alone? Thanks for the help! I rate high for good, thought-out answers! =]
Madison
Age 18
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This guy is in a relationship. He's ENGAGED and your thinking about getting with him. Ok one, why would you want to be with a guy who's dating somebody and finds it okay to be with someone else at the same time? This guy has made a commitment to another girl, do you want to be with someone that doesn't stick with a commitment? Does that sound like he's trustworthy? He didn't tell you he had a fiance because he didn't want you to know. Even if you never asked, you asked him out, he should have said something then. This guy is not trustworthy at all.
And two, I don't care who you are, who he is, who his fiance is but you don't cut someone else's meat. I don't think anything good is going to come out of you dating or being with a guy in that kind of way when he has another woman. Does she even know your with him? Is she fine with this? Imagine how this poor girl feels being tossed aside for some other chick. It's just not right.
You can tell him "Look, I want to be with you and it seems like you want to be with me. Its me or your fiance, not both." And even if you do get him, is he going to be completely over his fiance? Maybe he's just bored with his fiance and whats something exciting on the side.
Look you can do whatever you like with this guy, and who knows, it could turn out fantastic, but your still young and you'll still meet a million great guys. Don't drop everything for a guy you can't completely trust and don't be so naieve.
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