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In good fun flirting with ex
For the most part my and Alex's communication is great we use I statements Im feeling I will, I need, and we are respectful of each others opinions. But Alex and his ex have been flirting alot lately. One day when alex was at work she texted him, "Im bored entertain me," so he replied "come out to the shop Im alone." And not even two days later I caught him talking to our 1 month old about how he was going to introduce his ex to her as "Aunt Alesha" I told him I was uncomfortable with that. So I asked him to stop talking to her for a few months because that was a major boundary line that he had just crossed. I told him it didnt have to be for forever, just until our lives slowed down. I just had our daughter, and we had a temporary move into an apartment until we finalized the things necessary to move into our new house. It was a very stressful time and I explained that his flirting was not harmless or in good fun, it genuinely bugged me because he take it to far. He said fine and deleted her phone number out of his phone. He never told her to stop contacting him. He just moved to a more public place to talk to her the internet. A few days ago I go to leave a comment on his myspace and they have had contact on there since the time I had asked him to stop. She asked him for play dates with him and the baby alone and she doesnt have any kids. She goes to him to whine and cry. She contacted me and threatened me. She is under the impression that he is her best friend and I am a jealous insecure witch. So I told him I didnt appreciate him lying about discontinueing talking to her it was very disrespectful of my feelings. So at that point I gave him the ultimatum me or her.
It should have never gotten that far to begin with. He should have respected my wishes and feelings months ago and told her to back off til things settled down, but he didnt. He also admitted that he still cared about her, but wanted to still be with me forever. He said he needed to re prioratize his thoughts. So I have moved out, and we have talked about it more. I want the end result to be me moveing back into our new house with him but I just cant shake the feeling that his- in his words "harmless flirting" has done more damage to our relationship than I am letting on to. I know it takes time because we didnt get into this situation in just one day but what kind of things do I look for to see that he's being serious and is ready to have a serious relationship with me?
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"Harmless flirting"? Harmless to whom? He and his ex? Certainly not harmless to you, his wife.
Did he do this before you were married? If so, that should have been a clue.
I would not tolerate it. Who knows how far it has really gone. We usually know less than the truth with this kind of thing. You'll know he's serious when all the little clues disappear and he no longer has his flirty little contact with her. You are in the right and he is in the wrong. You are his wife now and he should not be flirting with anyone, especially his ex.
Obviously, he is very insensitive and his ex is, pardon the expression, a bitch. She sounds like she is trying to break up your marriage. Perhaps she regrets their break up and didn't expect him to find someone else and is 'stepping in', so to speak. If that's okay with him, then you need to walk. You married the wrong guy.
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