F/15
Is it true that guys are only after that one thing--sex?
My older brother, 21, doesn't want me dating my current boyfriend. He's about a year older than me. He says, "I'm a guy and I hang out with guys. I know how they think, what they want, blah blah blah." My brother claims that fifteen is too early to be looking for a spouse, which is true. So, teens must be dating for only one reason these days--sex.
Well now that I think about it...why ARE we dating so young? It's not like we're going to get married at this age.
My brother won't stop making fun of the way my boyfriend dresses, he's a scene kid, I guess. I'm afraid that my brother will say something to his face. Even still, it hurts my feelings anyway.
Can someone help me be reasonable with him??
Because they want to pretend they are adults. There's no value in being a child because being grown up is a way to try to elevate yourself among your peers. It's a natural reaction kids have to the fact that parents are adults and adults are more capable than children.
Is your brother right? He's halfway there.
Guys are horny. Well, people are horny. We're designed that way. However, because of hormones present during puberty everyone's a lot hornier with a lot less reason behind it.
As guys get older, they learn to appropriately manage their sex drive and sexual behavior (hopefully, at least) and become more datable. But at 15 most guys are too inexperienced and too horny to know what to do with themselves. They will take sex however they can get it, even when they DO like you for more than just that.
Why should you be dating? So you can know what it's like. You should be enjoying being liked, and liking someone in return. You should be learning how to trust a significant other and learning about guys and what the things they do mean.
When people are young, they have learning loves. A child cannot wrap their head around the scope of a mature relationship, but as you date and spend time with one person for longer and longer, you grow up with them and learn about them, and you learn to increase your capacity for love.
I'm sure you've heard that teens can't really be in love, or the line "you're too young to fall in love"
Imagine that your love is a bucket. When you start out dating, all it takes is enough love and care to fill a bucket to qualify as "I love them".
As you get older, you move up to a swimming pool, then a lake, the Gulf of Mexico, the Pacific Ocean. At each point your capacity for love of a person increases. This can happen over many years with one person or over several relationships. Different people come to it different ways.
But basically, your capacity for love, and your ability to know a person and understand them forms a depth of relationship unlike anything you could probably imagine now.
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