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Cheating? or Choosing?
I have a boyfriend that I have been with for two years. However, for the past 6 months or so our relationship has been really boring. We never go out, he never has any money, and all he wants to do is sleep on my couch and call it "spending time with me". He refuses to go back to college and try to get a better job so he can move out from his parents. I mean, he is 24! The flip side of this is that I have thought that I love him. he claims to want to get married and I'm gonna feel bad for hurting his feelings.
Then I met this other guy. He graduated business school from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. He has a good job, his own house and a freaking life. I broke down and went out with him on a date last night. I had a really good time. He opened doors for me, payed for my dinner, even walked me to my car. The flip side of this is he lives an hour away and I am used to seeing my boyfriend everyday.
So, what I am asking is for opinions. What should I do? Do you think it has the chance of working out with the other guy? I'm not a habitual cheater and I have never done this before. In fact, I feel guilty about it in a certain way, but in a certain way I don't. What do you think? Thanks.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I recently broke up with my boyfriend of a year because our relationship got soo monotonous. There is no rule in a "relationship" that after a certain point you two have to get married. If he doesn't want to spend time with you where you have fun, it's not worth it, especially if you met someone else. I think if something happens with this new guy, you'll be very happy you got out of the other relationship and the hour distance won't be a problem. It may take some time to get used to it, but I really don't think you should stay with this guy.
Hope I helped!
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You are in a relationship hun, so this isn't an either-or question.
DO NOT set yourself up with a false choice.
Your choice is not about one guy or the other.
Your choice is if you want to continue in your relationship or not.
Remove this other guy from your brain. You are not free to consider him at this point and he really shouldn't be a factor in your mind. Deal with your relationship first and foremost.
Tell the new guy you need some space to handle a few things in your personal life, and that you hope to be able to reconnect with him again in a little while to explain.
Then forget about him, and think long and hard about the relationship you are actually in.
Other people are never a good reason to end a relationship. They are an excuse and a distraction, not a reason. If you are unhappy and unsatisfied in your current relationship, then end it. Even if you don’t have any other guy waiting in the wings, end it anyways. You don’t need a guy in your life, not one that you see every day or one that lives an hour away. If you feel you DO need a guy in your life, then you should REALLY just stay single for a while, and work on that problem. Because it is a problem: Healthy, confident adults are capable of being alone and being okay.
Don’t cheat. You cheapen yourself and any possibility you might have with this other guy if you do.
Don’t audition this new guy while still with your boyfriend. That’s just scummy.
Don’t ‘see how it goes’, if seeing how it goes means misleading people and betraying them.
Figure out what you want to do, and then do it honestly.
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