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What am I doing wrong!!!
16/m
Hi well my problem is that I can't ever keep a relationship going every time we breek up within the few weeks or days I can't ever be happy, the other week I asked a girl out I thought we were doing well I was doing everything living it up enjoying my time with her, berly a week and she broke up with me... Why would this happen to me everytime especially this time I really like her I did everything differnt yet I failed, I was once told that I'm the type of guy who usually in those chick flicks gets the girl in the end I never believed it but now I think I'm beginning to understand it, it meant for me to last with a girl I would have had to been through a breakup with her meaning that this would be our second time going out, sounds dumb but I'm willing to try it, the one thing that scares me is that if she don't like me I'm going to end up waiting for years just for nothing,
When I asked why? she told me it was because she was confused and did not know if she liked me the same way as I like her, I gave her a letter and a drawing and a hug and a kiss before I walked away
I don't know what to do
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Ok.
First off, its a really bad sign that you compared yourself to romantic comedies. Do I really have to point out that movies are not real life?
In real life, the guy who gets the girl is the guy who knows what the girl he's chasing wants.
You don't learn this in a day, or even necessarily in a single relationship. But if you pay attention, and start trying to figure out what real girls want in a guy, you'll find alot more success than you do now.
To give you some specific points.
If you think you have to break up and get back together in order to be together, you're an idiot. If you see that as some kind of goal, you're going to act in a way that brings about it, and obviously its working so well that you aren't even lasting a week.
At a guess, you come on way too strong. A letter, a drawing, a hug, and a kiss?
Let me give you an insight. Pretty much all women want excitement in their relationships. That excitement starts with the mutual dance around the issue of liking each other. Flirting without openly admitting you like each other. A girl wants her guy to have a little mystery.
The reason for all this BS, is that guys are usually more direct about deciding they like a girl than a girl is. Guys are logical, you see a girl who matches what you want, and you like her. Girls are emotional, they feel it out, they test the waters to see if they get those butterflies. They rely alot more to impression and their emotional reactions to you.
So what you have to do is give her time to realize she likes you. Complimenting girls, noticing things about them, smiling in reaction.
What you did, the exact thing you did, is you put out the fact that you like her before she was sure she liked you. That puts pressure on her, because now that its established that you really like her, she has to decide if she feels as strongly about it as she thinks you do. If she doesn't, she's going to run away.
Don't throw your like in people's faces so quickly. Give them time to wonder.
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Hey guy!
I have met a lot of guys in your situation.
They're so sweet but in the end they are "TOO" sweet. Girls want a guy that isn't afraid to show his feelings, but also wants a guy that plays hard to get.
Im going to be very blunt with you. You can't keep a girl either because you are way too clingy or you are way to sensitive or maybe too feminine.
When you had said that you gave her a "drawing,kiss and a hug." I know that if some guy would have drawn me something it would've kinda thrown me off. It's sweet but its just not something a guy would do.
What you need to do is get some manly guy friends and learn how they handle it with a chick.
Then go from there.
Goodluck,
Shelby
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I think you should just chill out. Lately I've been meeting a lot of guys that are all hyped up over finding "the one" and as soon as a girl expresses ANY sort of interest in just talking to him they go crazy and get clingy and worried.
Also nothing is like the movies. Don't act naive in thinking that because you're a nice guy that you will eventually find the one automatically. It takes searching. Guys don't get girls by just going out with the first ones that they find interesting. You have to search a little and notice the ones that don't shout amazing the first time you see them. Maybe you are going out with the wrong type of girl?
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