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hey
hey, it's me, the girl who you answered to about the question regarding the eating disorders. a lot of people have this problem in their early teenage years, but for me, it started pretty late. it started my senior year in high school, well, the summer that i was going into 12th grade. but, i guess everyone is different, and it just happened to me at that time. i have realized why it happened to me. i think that there were a lot of issues, but now, everything is getting sort of back on track, but there is still some remains of it. i just want to get rid of it for good. i was in this phase at the beginning of it, where i would always just pick the healthy option, and that's good, because that's not really a diet, that's a lifestyle change. like, would order brown rice instead of white, stuff like that. or i'd order the grilled chicken instead of the fried chicken. i had a personal trainer then. but, when i stopped working out with the personal trainer, because they are expensive, and i pretty much knew the routine already, i started becoming really, rally obsessive about calorie counting. i started eating no more than 600 calories a day and i would count the entire day to make sure that i didn't go past my limit. then, i would go to the gym for like two hours. i felt so sick, you could not imagine. well, you probably could if you've been there before. it felt like i was living on a cloud. it was horrible. i didn't know left from right, i wouldn't pay attention in class, and everything just started falling apart, all because i was malnutritioned. i always said it would never happen that i would get out of that little circle, because if i went one calorie over, i would cry. i went to go see a therapist, but she didn't help much because she was just a bad therapist. but, it was as if my obsession was taking over my life. but, i didn't care, as long as i saw bones. it's a sick thing, but only people who have been there would understand. until one day, i couldn't take it anymore. i started eating everything i could find. it's not like it was a sugar attack or like i went to mcdonalds and got a burger with fries and a shake. it was a full out binge, with no sequence. i ate everything from chips, ice cream, to the tuna salad left overs in the fridge. they warned me it would happen, but i didn't believe them. i felt SO sick. it was absolutely the most disgusting thing i had ever done in my entire life. i did the only thing i thought of. i went to the gym and ran until the treadmill said i burned 2000 calories and i then i threw up. i felt so bad. but, then, i started doing it more often. i would binge, and then not eat for two days. i promised myself that after the two days, i would eat normal, but then, because my body was so deprived, it didn't end up happening that way. it was like a vicious cycle. do you have any advice for me on how to break this cycle for good? how to just let it go forever? thank you in advance.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
No need to thank in advance, lol. Ok... So, I have sorta been there. Not as serious as you have. But I hope I can help. What you started out with was great, you're right. Now, what to do, is find a way to go back into that. Most people try to just start eating again. But you have to have smaller goals. Now, I can't really give you the best answer because I'm not a therapist or doctor. I would go to a doctor. They can help you better than anyone. Just find the restraint to have only a few bites of something, or not to continue to the chips. I go long periods without eating, then go into feeling like I can't stop when I do eat... after eating something, small are larger, STOP. Just make yourself. Give yourself a chore or something you have to do after you eat and then do it. Make yourself do it. Make it a habbit, everytime you eat, to have something to do to force you to leave the food and get your mind off of it. Scheduals and reaccurances make it easier. That goes with anything when it comes to your body... Form a habbit. I hope it helped, what I said. If it didn't or I still didn't answer a question you have, let me know. I will do my best to help. This is a really hard thing to get over. Don't give up when you get frustrated.
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