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guy friend is in love with me :/
I'm 16 years old and I have a boyfriend. We have been going out for 7 months. I also have a best guy friend. He doesn't live near me anymore because he moved. But he recently told me he loves me and has always wanted to go out with me but couldn't. He has also told me that he is very depressed because a lot of bad things has happened to him. He is suicidal. I have been trying so hard to help him get better but he still cuts himself and suicidal... One time I was really desperate to help him, so I flirted back with him and told him I loved him. I don't know if that was a good idea because I'm not sure it's love but I didn't want to see him get hurt. Now when I'm flirting with him, he seems happier. But I don't know what to do. I haven't told my boyfriend that he is suicidal and that I'm telling him I love him. Should I continue to flirt with him?? Or should I stop? I don't want him to get hurt. Please help me! Thank you!!
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Ok, this needs to stop. You have doubts, and are doing this mainly to make him feel better. What's going to happen is that it will get to the point where this other boy wholeheartedly believes that you are madly in love with him, and may leave you boyfriend. (And you've been keeping the truth from him too, so watch that.)
What this guy needs is to sort himself out. Right now, he needs friends and family to be there for him...he does NOT need, however, a relationship. Not right now, at least. If he's depressed enough to be hurting himself, and then gets with someone else, it's just not a good situation to start a successful bond. A messy breakup or rejection would do him no good.
If that is not the case, and you intend to remain with your boyfriend, he will be left in a much worse state, because he'll have been lied to, and given how unstable you say he is, that's something he doesn't need. I know that you meant well, but it was a bad move. The thing to do now, is to STOP flirting, or letting him on in any way (don't cut him off, or anything, just make sure there is no way that he might think you are interested.) You need then, to have a heart to heart and make it clear that you didn't mean to hurt him, and will remain his friend.
In the meantime, make sure that you can get the proper help for him. There are pros out there whose job is to help people that are depressed. It's not enough to keep it to yourself and assume that you can handle it. You wouldn't be the first to not recognize the signs that he's really over the deep end. I would suggest asking a counsellor or doctor about resources or phone lines to call about this.
I hope this helps, and gets cleared up.
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