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This is a weird question but...


Question Posted Monday March 9 2009, 4:01 am

Is oral sex aloud in marrige. Some of my friends say its not aloud in or out of marrige. Is masturbation aloud when your marride? I know I might sound stupid and everthing but I really can't ask my parents about this stuff and their is no one eles that I could ask. I only want true Christian answers.

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iloveyou2 answered Friday April 3 2009, 2:28 pm:
Of course it's allowed.
You have the right to "pleasure yourself" if you want to. It's your choice, and it's fine by us!

Some religions are against it, so you may want to do some research on your personal religion.

Sex is sex.

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WittyUsernameHere answered Monday March 9 2009, 4:35 pm:
Speaking as a Christian, and as someone raised Catholic, that depends entirely upon whom you ask.

The Vatican would probably say something along the lines of "Any sex not intended to have children is a sin". Then again, according to them birth control is a sin.

Most the more uptight Christian sects (local catholic church, certain baptist communities, various others) would tell you that its ok to have sex whenever you're married, but if the sex is anything other than vanilla "missionary position only" sex that its unholy because sex is a "gift from God" or some similar line and even when you're getting laid you're apparently supposed to forsake lust and keep your eyes on God.

Some of the less uptight denominations (Methodists the first to come to mind) say that if you're in a married committed relationship, pretty much anything goes that doesn't stray outside that relationship. Those general opinions are "keep it in the bedroom and between you and your husband/wife, but other than that go nuts"

And there are many other perspectives besides these.

Now, I'm going to let you in on a little secret. Most of these rules, are not from God. They are from Man. Something churches want to deny, because it loses them their "we're the only way you can have a relationship with God" illusion.

But, simply put, if you look at the laws in place they are from man. Birth Control? Do you seriously think God came down to tell the human race that we shouldn't use birth control? No, thats what the Catholic Church decided because its easier to have new members born into the church than converted as adults, so they want every Catholic they can get reproducing and raising their children in the church.

Heres my perspective. God is omniscient. One of the christian concepts of God is that he knows all. That means anything we know, or discover, he already knows.

Because of psychology, we know that there are many complex emotions that take place during sex. We know people can be hurt emotionally by having sex with the wrong people, or having sex casually. We know that things like pregnancy can occur when having sex, and that two people who don't know each other and have no committment to each other having a child is a generally bad thing.

So, God knows these things too.

Now, lets say God sets some rules down way back when because he knows humans can be pretty stupid. Lets say that in a time when there IS no generally available birth control, knowing the emotional damage we are capable of doing to each other with sex, God says you should be married before you do it.

That means that kids will be born to married couples thinking about family as opposed to people who just wanted to have sex in a time without reliable birth control.

It means that there is a marriage commitment to fall back on when emotional issues relating to sex occur.

It means that in general people are more likely to have emotionally healthy sex than emotionally stunted casual drunken or whatever sex.

To me, marriage has always been more of a human definition than anything else. Marriage is the way our society functions in so many ways. Marriage forms the basis for current world economics, the "family unit" being the basic consumer unit in our and other nations. Its a keystone of human civilization, because it gives us a way to organize ourselves.

Do you think that someone who is married more than once is going to have both wives in the afterlife? I doubt seriously that human relationships as they are will exist in heaven. I mean, isnt the point of heaven transcending our physical selves, becoming something more? Why would anyone in their right mind assume we'd be shackled to the way life was here in the afterlife?

The entire point of this is, that there is no one right answer, or agreed upon answer even among Christians, and this is because God didn't write 99.9% of the religious laws we have about sex.

Don't have sex outside of a committed relationship, wait till marriage if you choose, the ball is in your court there. But in my personal opinion, you should not be afraid of your sexuality. The rules you hear about sex are all bullshit, because they were created by man to control other men, not created by God.

The only exception there, is that care and commitment should exist between two people for a healthy sexual relationship. Focus on that idea, seek that care and commitment, and then do whatever the fuck you want.

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