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need my boyfriend back
well, heres the situation. it is long because i am kind of an emotional wreck right now haha sorry. well, it all started 2 weeks ago when my ex decided he wanted to take a break. everything seemed to be going fine. i mean sure we had the occasional fight every now and then. but thats normal. then out of nowhere he just said he couldnt handle a relationship rite now. or he wasnt mature enough for the committment. i told him i was upset but i went along with the whole break thing. we got in a few fights while on the break because i said i would always love him. he said, "thats what i need a break from. the compliments, the i love yous, the i care u dont? i just need a break from all of that". so i tried to give him his space on this break but i was heart broken. he said he thought it was what we needed and it would be better if we didnt talk. so we didnt talk at all. then he asked me to come over. i said ok. we talked a little about the problems and we solved some things. then we started kissing...... he stopped and looked at me and said,"i dont want to send you mixed signals but i still want to be on this break" it had been a week so i was like ok thats fine. i was just so happy at this point because i hadnt hugged him in a week. so we talked some more and wen i went to hug him he shook his head. i hugged him anyway n he stood there but didnt put his arms out. i muttered something kind of rude and smiled as i walked out of the door. he smirked. this is kind of how we are in fights. well we started to talk a little bit and then yesterday, he told me that he doesnt want to date anyone right now. so this break turned into a break up. we talked about why the relationship wouldnt work and some things he said were
the mutual feeling of no compromise
his jealousy and temper
that we are too much the same
and the biggest one is that he says he doesnt think i speak my mind. he thinks that i change for what i think he wants and that i wont say something because im afraid of how he will react. he says he just wants me to be myself.
well i undersand all this. i feel like we could work out the compromising thing. i think that his jealousy and anger can be fixed and it really doesnt even effect the relationship. i didnt see how us being the same really has anything to do with it. other that the fact we are both stubborn obnoxious sarcastic assholes sometimes. the last one i do understand. i think that is the main reason, i get what he is saying because i think that sometimes i do say things because i think thats what he wants to hear. he says he just wants me to be completely honest with him about everything and i completely understand this now. i feel like i can totally start speaking my mind to him and i told him this. but he said it was too late. he didnt think it could be fixed. this really upset me because i know that i can just be myself around him and i realize now that i need to tell him exactly how i feel and not worry about what he will think. i know the relationship could be fixed because i love him more than anything and im willing to do absolutely anything to get back together with him. but he doesnt think the relationship will work. actually, he is convinced that it wont work. how can i make him understand this and want to be in a relationship with me again? i dont know what do do.
p.s he used to be a player.
we started out as best friends.
i am 18, he is 17.
we are both in love. well i am. he doesnt seem to be acting much liike he cares right now.
we text alot.
live right next to eachother.
arent the best at expressing our feelings somtimes.
he has ALOT of insecurities.
doesnt believe that i love him,
never has believed it. he has lied before in the relationship and never 4gave himself.
feels bad about himself.
have been dating for 6 months.
means the world to me.
please help me get him back.
thank you so much.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Your doing exactly what he said he doesn't want. He doesn't want you to say things just because you feel it's what he wants to hear.
Thing about what I'm saying before you automatically get pissed off at me because this probably isn't what YOU want to hear.
He told you a big reason why he doesn't want to be with you anymore is because he feels you'll say anything to be with him, and that's not an honest relationship.
First thing you do is say you'll change and start being honest with him...In other words, you completely proved him right.
Don't blame yourself for why this didn't work out. He must have had issues, too and you named them. Bad temper and jealous issues. Then you said these issues didn't have an effect on the relationship. The heck they didn't! Don't think of him as a saint and he could do no wrong. Relationships are not only loving someone, even their flaws, but ya gotta have tough love in there somewhere and that means when your boyfriend is acted like an asshole, you let him know.
You should try getting your mind off of him and start moving on. Maybe he'll realize he does love you, but if not, it is not meant to be AND THAT'S OK!
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Ok this guy sounds like he wants to love but he's confused. Not to sound harsh to the guy but he sounds like he might be gay. I know how it sounds but just look you said that he used to be a player many gay guys don't want to stand out so they date lots of girls and it seems like he has mixed feelings. And I’m sorry to say this but he won’t take you back even if he's strait. But I just say forget about him do something you enjoy whatever it may be. I'm sorry if I offended you in any way and I hope something I said helps.
Mr-Fix-It
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Well,I think you just need to give him some time.I really don't know why he did that,from what you said,you are understanding and a good girlfriend.You said he used to be a player-what if he's playing with YOU?This is just a possibility.It happened to me with my ex boyfriend.He was my everything...He said he needed a break from all the romance,I agreed on that,because I loved him so much,eventually it turned into a break up and I was left heartbroken,and he played with me for almost a year.It turned out he was with me just so he could say he has a girlfriend.Unfortunately,I'm not over him yet,hehe...Your ex bf might not be like that,but be aware of it.Just leave him be.The best way to find out if a guy cares about you is to start ignoring them almost completely.Since you live right next to each other,if he sees you,he'll definitely notice something's wrong.Don't text him or talk to him for a few weeks.I know it'll be hard,but be strong.If he asks you to come back to him,then it's ok,but if he wants to go on a break again some time in the future,ditch him.You don't need a boyfriend who will only see you as someone he can always come back to.And if he doesn't ask you to come back to him,then you need to move on because you weren't meant to be.If it turns out that way,don't rush into another relationship.Give yourself some time to recover,meet more people,hang out with your best friends,and don't be alone.it will only be harder until you get over it.It kinda hurts to hear there are more heartbroken girls out there...But never mind that,no guy is worth our tears!You are young and most likely quite pretty,you'll find someone who will really love you.I notified you about the possible situations,the rest is up to you.I honestly hope I helped you.
p.s. Hold on girl!
Best wishes,
cuteblondegirl94
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