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I thought that no matter what we would always be friends, What do I do?
I’ve been really close friends with this man for several years. We run in the same circle (of friends) and have the same passion for the arts. During the past few years, I’ve expressed my feelings to him, which are more than just friends. His answer is always…I love you, with no further detail. I’ve asked on several occasions, Love me how? As a friend, like a sister? How? He clams up~ No answers.
A few months ago, we were talking on the phone and he blurted out, “I love you, I really really do.” Then hangs up the phone. What am I suppose to do with that? Again, what does it mean. I blow up…..I ask him, what does it mean, no answer. I proceed to ask him to stop screwing with my head. If he is going to be my friend, then be my friend.
And if he could express what his love means, then stop saying it.
Nonetheless, he continues to express that he truly does love me and we are friends. We don't speak for months. He deleted me off his friend's list. I recently attended an event and found out he was there, but left when he saw me. (We run in the circle of friends, so it is inevitable that we will see each other again).
I don't get it...why am I being treated this way....What did I do wrong? What could his reason be for avoiding me?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Although I do not know the nature of your friendship or what kind of a person he is, we can try and figure this out with what we've got.
First, you were friends. Then you expressed that you would like to be more than friends. He answered that he loved you and that was it. Several more attempts to extract information to broaden his meaning have failed, and now you are a little confused and maybe even a little irritated at how he is handling it.
Obviously he does not want to express any further his intentions or thoughts on this manner. What you need to ask yourself is are you alright with being led on and being in the dark? You have stated that you are friends still and he truly loves you, but you also say right afterwards that you haven't spoken for months and he deleted you off his friends list. If anything, he has closed the door on the situation and even if you do not know what he really meant by saying "I love you", then I would make an educated guess that it's over and done with. My advice would be to find someone else who knows how they feel about you and are willing to tell you just that. If he really cares for you, he will put an end to your suffering. If he does not, the best thing for you would probably be to continue being pleasant and polite (since you run in the same groups of friends) but don't pursue this relationship. It doesn't seem to be going anywhere, unfortunately.
It doesn't sound like you did anything wrong, but he probably did not feel the same way you did which is why he has started avoiding you. If he did, you would be together. He is probably not a very confident person if he cannot express his true feelings. If he wanted to just be friends, he should have said so. If he wanted to date you, he should have said so.
My advice is to find someone more sure of themselves in what they want and how they feel about you. If this man really wants you, he will find the error of his ways and be sure to let you know what his intentions are. Otherwise, I think it's best to move on.
I hope this helps a bit, and hope everything works out!
-Charlotte
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