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humorist-workshop
i think this is rape..
15/f
okay so i was out on night drinkinq liquior and smokinq maryjane.(yeah i know i sound like a bad kid but i'm just tryinq to fit in) well yeah i was out with some kids i thought were my friends. i was stayinq the night at my friends house. well anyways,, i was out like seriously out i was throwinq up everywhere i dont remember half that night. well i just remember takinq a shower and layinq down. well the next day i left her house and everythinq well she called me later on that day and told me that my supposly "best guy friend" took advantaqe of me. && she didnt do anythinq. do you think im stupied if i talk to her still?? well i never told anyone about this not even my parents and idk beacause i was a virqin and i feel like i failed my parents. i dont want to loose their trust aqain so i dont want to say anythinq & my brother he's crazy(not litterly)but he would kill that quy if her EVER found out.i dnt kno wat to do.if i should tell my parents or wat?? its been almost 4 months since this happened and the worst part is that i talk to that quy. is that wronq of me? i quit talkinq to him for about 2 or 3 months then he just started talkin to me and i went alonq with it.am dumb for not doinq anythinq about this?
___so confused.
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This is such a hard lesson to learn, and even harder to deal with the aftermath.
First things first: did you get tested for STIs afterwards? That's really important, because the earlier you find out about something like that, the faster you can get the help. Even if you haven't noticed a problem, there are 'silent' infections that you won't notice for years, but can cause things like infertility later on.
Also, if that guy really did what he has been accused of, it's rape. Even if you were of age, if a man has sex with a woman who is unable to make good judgments due to alcohol, he is committing rape. Know that rape is never the victim's fault, so you didn't disappoint your parents.
Make sure that the guy is actually guilty. Have you talked to him about it? Ask your friend (who witnessed it) exactly what happened. Then confront him, and get his story. Whatever you do, you want to be sure of it before telling anyone else.
My personal belief is that you should tell your parents what happened. If they don't know about the drugs and alcohol, come totally clean. The more honest you are, the more credible your story. Then they can help you with picking up the pieces, or even getting psychological help if you need it (because this sort of thing is incredibly traumatic). Unfortunately, they might not be able to do anything on a legal front, just because it has been so long.
As for talking to the girl, find out why she didn't stop it. Maybe she thought you were totally on board? Maybe she was scared to step in? If she just didn't care, then she's not a good friend. If she did, and wasn't sure of what to do, then it's not really her fault. Also, it takes a lot to tell your friend when something like that happens, so at least she did the right thing there, instead of just keeping it to herself.
When it comes to talking to the guy, get his story. After that, if you think he's guilty, don't talk to him, just for your sanity's sake.
If you have any more questions, let me know. I've helped friends deal with this sort of situation before.
Also, you should probably stop using alcohol and drugs if you haven't already. Not judging your lifestyle, because I know how hard it is to fit in as a teen, but things like this happen to girls every day for the same reason. If your friends don't like you because you won't smoke up with them, then they're not real friends.
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