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im Falling apart
Well big mistake i went last night to that party and i reconnected with him we were both in a tipsy mode which means we were saying things that weren't true we told each other we love each other and all that crap but i knew it wasn't him talking it was the alchol wow it's hard to get that in my outta my mind because he his actually a great guy he took real good of me and brought me home and everything im just thinking to myself were will i find another guy like that because here were i stay there are not much of them around they either not anywhere to be seen or they taken...I also found out that i never have time to think of myself because im always working on someone elses problems and that means i try to forget my problems...i feel down latly and also feel unhappy tha nothing is going my way i keep hoping it will but that hope always lets me down i just feel really depressed and feel like im trying to run away from the way im feeling, school is also not something i enjoy the fact that his there also makes things worst and just don't enjoy anything anymore i feel like im not myself like i just want to die i HATE MY LIFE because all things are going great with my parents and sister and brothers but me not at all like i can't take my life and not the ex it's mostly me i don't feel HAPPY i don't know what to do i try to read a book keep myself busy and went to a social worker nothing seems to work i wish for happiness because everyone around me is my friends my family except me that makes it worst when will i be HAPPY???
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Don't beat yourself up about the party. When we're in love we all have a hard time walking away. It wasn't mistake, it was just another chapter in your book. As far as the ex, i'm he is a good guy, but that doesn't make him right guy for you. There are plenty of great guys out there, and there are too many bad ones. You can't let that scare you, and this is why; when a bad guy meets the right girl, he suddenly isn't such a bad guy anymore, and vice versa.
My advice for that situation is to just take it a day at a time, and realize that it has to hurt, you can't run and hide from it because its a part of you, and it will find you. Follow your heart, even if its back to him. Sometimes the only way to move on is to take a step back and remember why we needed to move on in the first place.
Having said that, i still think if you are emotionally strong enough at the moment you should keep your distance from this guy, just until your over the worst of it. And not to punish him, just to give yourself some space.
NOW, for the whole falling apart thing. I know this is the last thing you want to hear, but i'm going to say it anyway, everyone goes through a time like this in there life, actually there will be more than one, your family included. The reason everyone elses life seems so great right now is because yours is so out of order. It's not screwed up, it's just not the way you need it. You have to realize that, if you convince yourself that your life has been destroyed, you'll never allow yourself to fix it.
Your heartbroken! Whether you want to admit it or not thats whats tearing your life apart. This pain is eating you alive. And understandably your letting everything else around you fall apart. That's normal, its just a nasty part of the healing process. It's kinda like a scab on your knee; it's ugly, it has no place there, it ruins your plans to wear that brand new skirt, and worst of all it hurts. But that scab is a necessary part of the healing process. It makes it better. And like with a skinned Knee, it'll take a while to heal completely. And even then you'll have a bold scar that will still be sensitive and easier to break. But given more time that too will heal. It'll never completely go away but it'll fade until you almost never think of it.
Thats what getting over this boy is going to be like. You have to let it hurt, you have to let it change your plans, and most importantly, you have to let it Heal. You can't keep going back to this guy. Everytime time you do, your ripping off the scab and expanding the wound. And putting more pain in your life than necessary.
If you want to get your life back to normal, or just be happy again, you've just got to take time for yourself. Help when you can, but when your not up to it, or you just feel like crying, explain to your friends that it's a really bad day and that you need sometime to help yourself. A real friend will understand. And another thing is, you can't hide in books or stop doing the things you've always done. When we're hurt we have a tendency to avoid things that remind us of getting hurt or of the happiness we had before the pain. But you can't let it stop you. Sitting this inning out because you have a skinned knee might keep you from that homerun.
So i guess what i'm trying to say is you've got to put yourself back out there. Do the things you've always done, and let yourself have fun. If like movies go see moives, if like books then read, if like dancing...girl your legs arn't broken, your heart is. Even if you don't feel like it, do it. Once you get out there you'll be glad you did. So cry when you want to, laugh every chance you can, and when love comes knocking jump without looking down.
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