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Might see ex's gf
16/f... soon I will be traveling to visit my ex boyfriend, who is my great friend now. A few months ago he promised me that I wouldn't have to see his girlfriend while I am there. I figured that was a great idea because I'm still madly in love with him and I think that would hurt me too much, especially while I'm trying to enjoy my vacation. Well today I reminded him about his promise, and he was saying things like "Oh yeah, I'll have to try. She's best friends with the host of the party that we're going to." I reminded him that he promised and he said he would try, but I'm really upset. I mean, he DID promise to me earlier and I was really looking forward to visiting him since I didn't have to worry about that. But now, I'm not so excited. I really want to have fun on my vacation and I know meeting her/seeing them together would kill me. So what should I say to my ex? Should I do anything else? I'm not really sure what to do but maybe you all have some ideas.
Thanks
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You could also realize that there are more important pressing matters in life, and having to run into you ex's ex would probably rate fairly low in the grand scheme of things.
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I know you are upset Hun, but honestly, it probably wasn't a promise he should have made in the first place. "I'll try" is ALL that he should promise. You can't guarantee to avoid a girlfriend or boyfriend in that way, and it's not really right to try or expect him too do anything more then try and make you both comfortable when you do met and to avoid any unnecessary awkwardness.
It's not an honest or respectful way for him to behave towards his relationship to pretend it doesn't exist while you are around. 'Out of sight, out of mind' is NOT okay when it comes to relationships.
Wouldn't it upset you a bit if your boyfriend brought his ex around, but refused to introduce her to you? To me, to deliberately avoid a meeting with the ex, smacks of deceit. I would be a bit miffed if the guy I was dating DELIBERATELY avoided me meeting his exes. I would wonder what he was hiding.
I do hate to say it, because I know exactly where you are coming from emotionally, but I still believe this: If you really can't handle seeing him with his new girlfriend AT ALL, and aren’t willing to take the risk that you might run into her, even at a party with a bunch of others, then you aren't ready to be visiting with him in any long-term way. You don't have the emotional distance you need to be his genuine friend if you can't accept this. Sure, it will be awkward and a bit upsetting, that is OK. You don’t have to be happy about it, but if you REALLY can't handle it, then you need cancel your trip and/or change your plans so they are much less visiting-him centered, because you aren’t emotionally ready to take your friendship with your ex to that level.
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