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humorist-workshop
CONFUSED!!!
Well it’s me again , but this time me and the guy I was and still am deeply inlove with has now officially gave up me I went away for a week on a family trip we smsed and phoned each other it was sweet and we were still happy together and so much inlove I was happy that I could have him in my life and I was feeling so damn lucky and so damn happy…He went to P.E to visit his family but 3 or 4 weeks passed but and now it’s not the same I sms him but he does not even bother replying to my sms and when I phone he is like hey we just don’t speak a lot anymore like he completely gave up on me like he moved on; but I clearly have not I MISS HIM so much I can’t get him out of my mind I can’t get over the fact that he dropped me out of his life just can’t except it I cry everyday & want to call but I just gave up on it and stopped trying to make it work I told him to tell me what’s up why we so then he tells me im being stupit he like really changed on me his always rude on the phone and this tells me he has moved on because my last ex boyfriend was so and he had a new girlfriend and I thought he started to love me I thought we had a future and I thought he meant he loved me. The love faded by him but not by me I just wish it did I pray every day that this love would go away but it here to stay I can’t get over him I don’t want anybody but him but I can’t except that and I don’t see myself moving on & I tried to see other people but I simply can’t do it when will I ever be ready when!! I HATE HIM BECAUSE he did this to me…and I hate him even more because his bound to get a girl there because he tells me he partys ever night and day that is bound to lead to a new chick I feel punished hurt lost of trust I just want to see him but he told me he never wants me in his life or to see me when he comes back it will never be the same again because of me I just wish I could understand why his doing this but I can’. I gave him space for a while now that didn’t make him love me I smsed so sweet things no reply. I asked him over the phone why hasn’t he replyed he told me he rather spend his money on drinking I also got another problem I might be pregnant with his child because I never got my period this month and he asked me if I got it I said no so I asked if his worried he told me he don’t care what does that say if I am pregnant he will basically reject me and I so love him but his not a good father figure his a party animal I also wouldn’t know what to say to my parents because we know alota people whose pregnant they also going to reject me. I don’t know anymore what to do I am in so much SHIT I just wana die I im going to lose the people I love and I already lost him what now? But im broken I fell smashed into millions of pieces and I always seem to fall for the wrong guys I can’t control that I know I should just take it and forget about it but there is way tomany memories to foget us ME & HIM I need YOUR HELP BADLY!!
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
i wish there was some "get over the breakup" book for dummies, but there isn't. everyone hurts and heals in there own way. right now your in that lowest part of the breakup phase, and to top it all off your life feels like its crashing around you. the fear of being rejected, not being loved, not being good enough, and feeling straight screwed...is probably the best way to describe the pit your in now. that’s normal
first and foremost, before i give any advice on the matter, i want to say that this is a very iffy topic and i can only tell you what i would know to do in the situation, but despite what anyone else says, they most important advice to take is follow your heart. it never takes you anywhere you are not supposed to go.
now...
i know you can't just get over it. if the breaking up were that easy, love wouldn’t even be worth having. the reason it hurts so bad is because your losing the one thing you want most, love and all that comes with it(acceptance, respect, desire, passion, comfort, etc.). those are the things that really make a break up so heartbreaking. when you lose someone, you don't just lose all those things, you lose your hope for a better tomorrow, the one that could give you everything you've ever dreamed of.
understanding that is the first step. you have got to see that it's not just this guy that you miss, you miss the way you felt with him. so naturally being without him is indescribably painful. it hurts, its supposed to. that’s why they call it a break up. it breaks you. it's supposed to. be proud that it hurts you. what kind of person would you be if it didn't? not alive, i can tell you that much.
the next step is to just let it hurt. you have got cry, splurge, kick and scream, and say to hell with what the world thinks. if they can't understand and accept that you are hurting, they have no place in your life, they are leeches, helping to suck out what’s left of your happiness.
by the way, there is no limit on the time you are allowed to breakdown. take your time. rushing into another relationship will only sharpen the pain. it might look good on the outside, but on the inside being with a guy just cause, it will only kill you.
when the guy your supposed to move on with comes along, you'll just know. no you wont know, you'll just do it. life’s funny like that. things don't come around to you until your ready for them. more importantly, when you truly need them. there are no mistakes. not even this pain you feel. its going to hurt and its going to get worse, but its going to get better too. you wont even realize it. you are just going to wake up one day and forget to cry. a week later, your going to forget to miss him. with everyday that passes your going to be closer to realizing that it wasn't him that you loved or even miss, it was the way you loved yourself when you were with him that you miss.
you will see that, and when you do, it's going to hit you. you will find it again, and it will be better this time because you are wiser, and more open to it. you are going to see that this guy was an ass, and someone you would never choose again, but that you don't regret, because he made you a better person by showing you just how awful he is.
once you see that you are going to realize the only truth about love that will ever matter. if you are not the one for him he cant be the one for you. if every guy fit, what would make the right one special?
thats what it all comes down to. some part of you wants me to tell you to hold on and that everything will workout with this guy. i know because everyone(including myself) whos ever been in your shoes has secretly wished for the same thing. i sadly cant say that and mean it. even if this guy does come back, and he probably will, he'll just hurt you again.
he's a user. he's hurt you because he can, and he'll keep doing it if you let him.
so i guess my advice is to just take it day by day. take it all in. laugh, cry, and love every time you get the chance. don't hold back, don't hide, and and don't settle. this is just another one of those times that will pass. one day you look back and be thankful for it. just don't hide the pain, that’s what makes a heartache so much stronger. your keeping it locked so close to your heart on serves to deepen the love, and the pain.
as for the pregnancy issue. get a test. put your mind at ease. but i have some good news for you. stress(aka. heartbreak) causes periods to be late. when your emotions are out of wack your body doesn't work properly. another one of natures little quirks. twisted i know.
just don’t let it worry you now, not until you are sure.
and for your parents. people are always more judgmental when its not happening to them, but when its there own daughter it'll change. it suddenly wont seem so bad. and if it does, well i dont think very highly of your parents. they are not perfect, don’t let them lie to you!
but dont worry about that yet. take one problem at a time.
if it turns out you are pregnant which i dont think and pray you are not. message me and we will work through that one.
so i guess to sum it all up. just accept it, all of it, even the bad. you know he's no good for you, even if you don't want to accept it. how can anyone who intentionally makes you feel this way ever be right for you.
having said that. i know you cant just let him go. it doesn't work that way, but i do think you should try to keep as far away from him as you can. the distance will allow your heart to break in peace without any false hope. its kind of like monks and fasting. they do it because it brings them something food never could, the realization that they don't really need it the way they thought they did.
some other tips are to try and find a hobby, or at least try and do the things you normally do. the routine stuff will help you remember you are still alive and that you do have a tomorrow. and where else are you going to meet mr. right? not hidden in your room.
i hope it helped. and if there is anything else, or something that you think i didn't elaborate on or even mention, message again. i will be checking my inbox just incase. i really hope it all works out. if you need anything, even if its just a shoulder to cry on or someone to tell over and over again why it should have worked out, just im me. ahappebrunette.
much love,
angel
p.s. remember to cry when you feel like crying, laugh every chance you get, and the next time love comes knocking leap without looking down
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