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whats up?


Question Posted Sunday December 28 2008, 8:30 pm

I will try to explain this as good as I can as quick and short as I can.

I began dating a guy (20). I had made a mistake and messed up after 4 months of being together. My boyfriend forgave me and said he will forget with time. Its been 2 months since we have "broken up." He tells almost all of his friends we are dating and his family knows about my mistake and that he's forgaven me and they accept it and me. He doesn't live in the same state as me because of school but when he has came down we hang out, kiss, say i love you and sweet things, exchange gifts for christmas, met more of his family on christmas and yes we have been intimate. My question is why hasn't he asked me out again, in a sense. How do I talk to him about it or what should I say? Is he not willing to commit because he thinks I'll hurt him again? Is he afraid that his friends well judge him because he's giving me another chance and took me back so soon? whats up?


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GilbertMar answered Sunday December 28 2008, 10:38 pm:
There are several things it could be, I don't know the kind of person he is, so I can't say how much "public" opinion matters to him. I do think that women have a problem when it comes to forgiveness. Many guys will tell a woman that they forgive them, in effect to shut them up. They don't want to start them crying and get into the emotional stuff, it's easier to just lie and tell them they are forgiven.

It is likely he has not forgiven you and is waiting to see if something happens again. I assure you he has been told many time that you will do it again, or something worse. He's waiting for it to happen again and trust once broken, can never really be regained.

He may come to grips with this someday, but I really doubt it. I'm really sorry to have to be telling you this, because your probably going to shoot the messenger, but you are best off taking what you have learned and move on, it is likely to end anyway. My suggestion to you is to end it now and see if he comes back after you, sooner or later. If he comes back to you, then he has truly made up his mind that he has forgiven you. If that is not to your liking, then stick it out and wait to see if he comes around, but understand, you will have a much less stable relationship if you do.

Good luck my dear, feel free to write again, should you have need too.

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