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EVERYTHING
okay. so, for starters, I really like this boy at my school. I'm a junior and he's a sophomore. I don't really see anything weird about me liking him, but whenever I tell my friends (which is rare nowadays because apparently it's laughable that I would happen to like him..I guess he's not the type of person that has a girlfriend) they all laugh and then say "oh, it's not really that funny, I'm laughing with you" whatever--I'm obviously not laughing, so that's a stupid thing to tell me. but anyway, I sometimes get the feeling that he likes me--like last night at SCI (swing choir invitaitonal) I went to go talk to him after he was done performing. (background info: usually whenever we see each other he punches me on the arm in a friendly sort of way...I know it sounds stupid but it's really kind of habit now) first he acts like he's gonna give me a hug, but then decides he wants to do the whole punch my arm thing, but then changes his mind/gets awkward. so I just decide to give him a huge hug anyway, and he gives me one back. so I'm thinking to myself "okay, this is a good sign." but then he kinda stops talking to me and walks away (which I understand, because he has to go help clean up and stuff) but like, he didn't even say goodbye to me or anything. I just feel like I keep getting mixed signals all the time, and it gets me in this super depressed mood. I don't know how to make sure that he likes me, but I don't want to just come out and ask him, you know? I'm not really that kind of person.
second: I feel like all of my friends are changing/leaving me for other people. I know, go ahead and say that I'm a typical overemotional teenage girl. but they really haven't been like that until recently. I am kind of thinking that it's because they're getting antsy to get away for Christmas break or whatever. but seriously, everyone is getting extremely bitchy and snappy; mood swings and being irritable for absolutely no reason at all, overreacting to ordinary comments and taking it to a whole new level of hotheadedness.....catch my drift?
three: my friends are all getting attached (becoming a couple with boyfriends) and they seem to spending an exuberant amount of time with their boyfriends and not their actual friends. okay, boyfriends are friends too, but we've been friends way longer and it'd be nice if they actually spent a little time with us for a change. I just don't really understand why everyone feels a need to be with their boyfriends all the time, especially when they promised before anything serious started happening that they would "never forget about us and still have plenty of time to spend with us" blah blah blah. basically, I'm sick of all the empty promises that I keep getting, and I want to have someone to spend my time with where I can have an actual conversation and not keep talking about peoples' boyfriends and how they're so amazing and "don't worry Em, you'll get one soon."
so yeah. that's the end of my tangent. for now. sorry if this bored you in any way, shape, or form.
(p.s. this is the 17/f who "really needed to talk to somebody, in case you got confused)
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high school can be a difficult time, it really gets you to start realizing what you want out of life and who your true friends are and during all the drama you somehow find yourself.
1. as for this boy you like, just ask him to hang out sometime during the weekend like catch a movie or something. he probably is nervous and is thinking the same thing you are or maybe he even heard what your "friends" have been saying about him. let him know you dont care what they think just hang out with him get to know him better and put some more effort into it, the hug was a nice touch.
2. your feeling of your friends changing is probably correct they are trying to discover who they are and in that mess they probably will act different. if these people you call your friends are leaving you for others, then they arent your true friends because if they were they'd stick by you through thick and thin. try to discover who your true ones are and branch out, try new things and meet new people who are worth your while.
3. ive lost my best friend to her boyfriend about a year ago, its sad the fact i had to let go but you cant go around putting in all the effort because they have to make some as well. some girls are needy, and feel they have to be with a boy for them to feel wanted or important or they claim they are so in love that it's hard to be apart from that person. but as you said you were friends first and you were always there for them and they should be doing the same for you. think of it this way, if you stop trying to make and effort once the girl and their boyfriend break up who is she going to have as a friend? in the long run it was her fault for pushing away the people who always cared about her.
i also have email if you would like to send stuff there,
classicxdisasterr@yahoo.com
dont let people get you down, stay strong. remember you are in charge of your own emotions dont let anyone else try to control them. go out there meet new people, people who'll care about you and treat you right.
Brittni
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