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love life not existant.
ok, this is going to be a little long but if you are interested then plz read and answer. So i am 21 year old girl who doesnt have much self confidence. I know im not ugly because i have heard million times how beautiful i am(not trying to sound conceded). I have never had a boyfriend and never madeout with a guy or anything. It's proabbly because i have such low self esteem. I really want a boyfriend and stuff but i have a hard time getting close to guys. I am too shy and sometimes when they talk to me i don't know what to say in return and then i feel like an idiot. The only time i get more comfortable with a guy is when i drink which is not often. I really want to get close to a guy but i am also very nervous to because i guess u can call me prude, but i don;t want to be im just not comfortable with the situation. One of the reasons being beccause i have never madeout with a guy before and i don't want to look like an idiot if i suck or dont do it right seeing as i am 21 years old and its weird that i have never madeout with anyone. I really wanna be less shy around guys and be more comfortable but i'm really shy and i want to get over that because it's driving me crazy that i don't have a boyfriend. PLEASE HELP!!!!
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first of all, age should have no bearing on this matter, well at least not until you are like 80..
that being said, self-confidence is a must have for a good relationship, however, i do know that getting a boyfriend can boost your self-confidence waaaaaaay up, and that in some cases that is wat the person needs. i at least know thats how it was for me. i was super awkward around girls until a friend forced me out of my comfort zone and kinda pushed me to ask someone out. i cant imagine that you dont have guys that like you, so just keep being yourself and dont try to force it. if you want to impress a guy then show him how comfortable you are and show him the fun part of you. to be honest i cant stand girls that are the stereotypical "hot" girls. i would prefer a girl who is kinda reserved and yet fun and intelligent. also dont worry if you are a "prude" not every guy likes a girl who will give it up to everyone, in fact, i personally plan on waiting and hope that every girl i date does too.
making out is and awkward process and event no matter how much experience you have, so dont sweat that. my advice there is that you should just go with it, and when it happens it happens. until then enjoy being single and maybe find what you like in a guy, and then when you know who you want you can focus all your courage on impressing him.
if there's any other way i can help just ask, cuz i have plenty of experience with this
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1. Don't stress out because you're 21 and don't have a boyfriend. This day in age... People are waiting. Women are putting off relationships to pursue careers, accomplish life goals, etc. Many are waiting until they're in their thirties to get married. My point is: don't rush. You've got plently of time to find Mr. Right.
2. Please work on your low self-esteem before getting into a relationship. Your self-image and whether or not you love yourself drasticly effects your relationships. Someone that does not know how to love themself has a hard time receiving love from others, as well as giving it.
How to boost your self-esteem? It's not easy. You can try reading some self help books or even look into therapy. This is something you will have to work on, it's a process, and it will take a while.
3. Don't worry about whether or not you're good at flirting or kissing. I've never been very good flirting, but I am a nice person and know how to be myself. A lot of guys respond to that alone. As for the physical stuff... To be perfectly honest, I don't think that anyone is good at it. Seriously. I've kissed a lot of guys and most of them were bad kissers. But after a while they get better at it.
Basicly, what I'm trying to tell you is this... Don't sweat it. Learn to be comfortable in your own skin and the rest will fall into place. I promise :)
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