|
What should I do? Im so confused...
The situation I'm in is so complicated I myself don't understand. I met my best friend (who is a male) at a party when I was 14 years old. I was introduce to him because I wanted to dance with someone so my cousin's boyfriend at the time went to look for a partner for me and he found him. At first, I liked him so much.Me and him talk on the phone and went to other several parties with him. The problem was that my mom sometimes when she felt like gave me permissions to go to the parties and sometimes she didn't let me go. Then if she let me go I could only stay til' 12am (which sucks because usually he would get there around 10pm) and didn't even get the chance to dance with him or anything. Anyways, I enter high school and he went off to college. I realized we were better off friends, and only talked to him several times on the phone. When he had breaks, we will come see me and spend time with me and my family. One time he told me he liked me, I liked him too but the problem was my mom and myself. I was having really bad anger and mental problems at the time and spend almost all my teen years in psych hospitals. Anyways, I didn't want him to know that side of me, so I decided to tell him that we were better as friends. Years passed by and sometimes he will come see me. My sisters and my mom became really close to him, my mom even calls him "son". There's was one time that I wanted to wait for him until he finished college and then give it a shot. But then my medications increased my appetite and I got bigger and bigger. He noticed every time he came to see me and tell me "you are getting fat", "what's wrong with you?" "are you OK"? So I decided to give up and stay friends with him because I noticed that he wasn't liking me like he use to anymore due to my physical changes. About a month a go he wrote me on messenger. We talked everyday about random things. One day my best friend (a female) told me she wanted a good boyfriend, who goes to college and is a great person, fun at the same time and serious. I decided to introduce him to her through messenger. They talked for several days and I was so happy my best friend was meeting someone finally and that my other best friend was going to meet another possible girlfriend. I played the part of cupid basically. I was happy, yes but at the same time felt jealousy towards her. But my happiness was greater than my jealousy so I ignored that feeling. And anyways, I have a boyfriend now of three and a half years that I supposedly love (that's what I thought I felt) and care about, we even live together. Yesterday, we went to my mom's house for thanksgiving dinner. Here was a chance for my two best friends to meet in person and get a chance to know each other more. But things didn't go right. They had no connection what so ever and completely ignored each other. Then to screw things even more, my cousin shows up and Joseph remembers her from the party back in 2004. She is the type to flirt with anybody, and give it up the same night. Basically she is a whore. And the only reason why my best friends weren't connecting is because in the first place he just wanted a "one night stand" and my best friend is a virgin and only wanted to get to know him more and he didn't want that so he completely ignored her. Then like I was saying, when my cousin showed up they started to talk and have a conversation. Knowing my cousin I knew where she was going with this. I was so pissed off that I started to drink and trying to get drunk because I couldn't believe what was going on in front of my eyes. Then my mom and my grandma notice what I was doing and wanted me out of the kitchen because they didn't want me to do something stupid. I just wanted to hit her so bad. One thing is my best friend (who I love to death) but the other thing is my cousin (who I hate to death, don't like her for ****). And anyways he came to my house to spend time with me, my sisters and my best friend not meet my ******* cousin. Anyways, then I realized I was jealous and that I still love him, and that I want him bad. I can't believe I didn't took care of myself and not wait for him. What you think should I do with this situation? My best friend is hurt, my cousin is a ******* whore who took my best friend to her apartment (not to play Bingo) after 2 hours of conversation (what a ******* whore), and my boyfriend and family are suspicious of me being jealous of my cousin. What should I do?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I know that sometimes it's really hard to hear what people are trying to tell you because as much as you want him, the thought of letting him go will hurt. But that's what you have to do. Let him go and if he cares about you like that he will notice it and he will be the one to come back. But this way you minimize the humiliation factor and also if it isn't something he wants you can both go forward with your life.
Life cannot be lived thinking back about what could have been. You have to think forward about what can be. Make yourself happy first then you will be ready to have the man of your dreams in your life. You have to make yourself someone that you can love before you are ready to let someone in your life to love you.
And then watch what happens. It will be a beautiful miracle. You have to believe that you are worth so much, because you are. Despite what has happened in your past and the issues you fight with in your life, we all have some issues similar to yours. I know you can do it, because I believe in you and your ability to love.
As far as your cousin. She needs to realize that behaving that way only shows she does not love herself enough to be true to herself. What we have is not candy to be given away in that mannter. It is something to be held precious like gold, not frivolously given to just any passer-by. It sounds like you've made good choices when it comes to that.
So from here on out. Focus on you and what you need to do to become the best you that you can love. And don't worry about other people so much. They can take care of themselves.
Blessings.
]
Wow.. Well, for one thing, you should start to be honest with yourself. Do you like the person you're currently with? Or would you rather be with the other guy? And for your cousin and best friend, just.. mind your own business for now. I mean, it's their life, therefore you can't really tell either of the what to do. Although you can confront your cousin and tell him that it bothers you that he was hitting on your best friend, and should refrain from doing it again.
]
More Questions: |