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fixing a friendship
18f, my guy friend is 17
i'm horrible at talking to someone that i'm trying to "fix" something with. within the past three weeks me and my best (guy) friend have been having problems. at one point i didn't think i could trust him. but i didn't want to lose him as a friend and we worked things out. well this past weekend he did something to me, and i know damn well it was true and it hurt, really bad. i've known this kid for YEARS, we've always been close and he should of known better to lie to me, after knowing i can't trust many people. well i said something to him, pretty much that indicated i couldn't be friends with him anymore and he never said anything back. IF he does try and work things out with me, i don't know what to do. honestly, i don't want him out of my life we have been through alot and i really don't want five years of friendship to just end like that. but he did hurt me, and i don't know what he wants me to do or even say. i feel like if he tries to work things out with me i will just be like "you should of known better, you know i can't trust many people and i finally trusted you and you do this. i don't think you even care, i don't even know what to say to you anymore.. maybe it should of been this way, you don't need me, admit it, you dont...." and i'm scared if i go off on him like that, he will just give up on me but how do i tell him how i'm feeling without him just completely feeling talked down on? i understand, i have to listen but i don't know what i can say that won't push him even farther away.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
it is surely hurting when your best friend is not truthful to you when you have tried your best to be faithful. you feel you love him but his actions are not forthcoming. one thing yu have to know is that in the priority of your relationship, you come first. that means that anything that is hurting you in a serious way, like what is happening now should be talked out and clear between you without fearing to lose the other. if you talk to him firmly and clearly about what you hate, you should give him freedom to do as he wishes. but be clear as much as possible, be clear to him that you dont hate him as a person. about the issue of not trusting many people--just know that you dont have to trust everyone, but also look itno yourself whether you have some unresolved issues e.g fear of intimacy and getting close to the other. because it is only in getting close to a person that you can be able to rust him or her. if your fear of losing the relatuionship is too much...then you have to check at yourself especially your self esteem.
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