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humorist-workshop
Friendship/Love?
Hi! I don't want to state my real name so just call me Zettie. I have a small complicated problem and I really need some advice. You see, I am very very shy. My counselers have even said that I have social phobia! For years I felt awkward around people and alone. However, in my first year of college (I'm 19)I met someone that I actually felt comfortable with. (Let's call him "Peter") Peter and I became best friends! There were times when I had to ask myself if I liked him as more than a friend but I always came to the same conclusion: no. Now, 9 months later I realized that I was wrong, I do like him as more than a friend! Ever since the end of October (when he went to homecoming with someone else) I realized that my feelings for him were changing. You see, I was planning on transferring to a different college but lately the thought of saying bye to Peter was making me feel panicked! I didn't know why but I just couldn't leave him. So I decided to stay and thats when I knew that I liked him. At first I was a little hopeful that Peter might like me as more as a friend. But a couple of days ago I found out from his friend that he likes somebody else. I was completely crushed! I don't dare tell Peter that I have feelings for him especially if he doesn't like me the same way. I don't want to lose his friendship and I know he would feel uncomfortable around me if he found out I liked him! I don't know what to do. Should I forget about my feelings for him? Or should I wait patiently for a miracle? Please help me.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
First of all, I am glad that you are overcoming your social phobia. Anyways that being said, I can tell you there are other guys out there that once you get to know them you will get over the social awkwardness, but you know yourself better than I do. If you honestly believe that Peter is the guy you are waiting for and you really do like him, I would talk to him about it. Yes you are setting yourself up for rejection, but thats life and it does happen. First of all, tell him what he means to you, and say you can see yourself dating him, that way if he doesn't feel the same it wont be too awkward b/c you said you could see it happen and it doesn't mean it will happen/. Does that make sense? I think that the more guys you meet the more comfortable yopu will become around them, but who knows Peter could be right for you now, and honestly you never know if you don't say something. So when and if the opportunity presents itself, take it and make the most of it.
Good luck with everything with Peter, and have confidence b/c he obviously values you as a person so see if sees you as more then a friend too.
Best of luck, and let me know how things turn out for you :)
<3 Jeannie
Ps: I feel this is important to meniton. There are a few guys that I have liked and we were friends and I didn't take the chance and tell them. Turns out they did like me but they figured I wasn't interested and moved on. I missed my chance and I really don't want to see you do the same thing. There is plenty of time to say aww I shouldn't have done that, but youll always kick yourself if you don't.
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