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Friends
I've been feeling very grown apart from my best friends. It started about 3-4 weeks ago. I would always be the one asking them to hang out..and they just wouldn't answer my texts or say "I dunno i'll call you" and never get back to me. I kinda felt annoying calling them and being like "You never called me". I got really tired of it and just decided to let them invite me. The plan didn't work cause..they didn't invite me to anything. Then during school they would be like "Why didn't you come with us blah blah blah" and i'd be like "..You didn't ask me to". Also, my two friends like drinking and partying..and i'm just not into that. My birthday was about a week ago and i wanted to invite my 4 girl best friends and my guy best best friend (who isn't friends with the girls) to my house for dinner. There were so many problems with this plan though..1) My best guy friend is not friends with the girls and doesn't get along with them very well... 2) Me and my family were going out to dinner..and i feel really guiltly with the whole money crisis and the bad economy to have my parents pay for 5 of my friends. I didn't ask for anything for my birthday cause i really just wanted my parents to save money.
I ended up not asking my 4 best girl friends and just brought my best guy friend. My guy friend didn't know he wasn't supposed to tell my other friends..and i think they got really mad about it. Their not really talking to me and i feel really bad. My one friend just gives me mean looks and the other is short tempered with me but the other two are nice about it. I havn't said anything to them about it..and i'm kinda scared to. Their very judgemental and i don't think they'll beleive why i didn't invite them. I know its kinda like mean cause i've been friends with them longer..but i mean at least he always wants to hang out and calls me back.
I don't know what to do =\
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I want to start by commending you on your maturity and your unselfish nature regarding your parents and today's economy. Your parents should be so proud to have raised such a level headed kid!
As far as your girlfriends are concerned, it sounds like there is a misunderstanding here. They may or may not be NOT calling you back to be malicious but you should try to find out. I would advise speaking to each one individually. I would also do it face to face. Go to a neutral place; the mall, somewhere at school, whatever, but do not do it over the phone. Your own house is also a bit awkward as if an arguement follows, it makes their leaving even more melodramatic.
Discuss how you feel. Let them know that you were not trying to hurt their feelings when they weren't invited to your birthday dinner. You need to let them know you are feeling left out. They may not actually realize you feel that way and if they ARE leaving you out... they may not have even realized it.
It also does not help much that your friends are drinkers and you are not. I recommend certainly keeping your old friends but branch out a bit and find some that like to "party" more your style. I was never a drinker as a teen either but had some friends that were. I must say it is a lot more fun to hang out with people who have more in common in that respect. Friends who are different are great, don't get me wrong. But when it comes to really being able to let loose and enjoy yourself, it is not quite as easy to do it when drinking is involved.
First of all it sounds like an innocent reason for not inviting your girlfriends to your dinner but the reality is, it is YOUR business who you invite. They do not have the right to give you dirty looks. They don't have the right to be angry. I can imagine they may be a little jealous of your guy friend and you should talk to them about their feelings. It is important to respect their feelings- just don't apologize for what your decision was.
One little side thought, and this may NOT apply to you but I am going to throw it on the table, so to speak. I presume you are a teenager and if this is so, you need to remember that often teenagers do not have a true sense of their own emotions. You may be feeling down, a little blue, and you may project this onto your friends feeling they never call you, they must not like you or respect you anymore. Again, this may not be what is happening but try to consider this before you get too angry with them. They may not be being as rude as you initially thought.
I think all will end well if you get an opportunity to have a heart to heart with each one individually. Write a letter even and give to each one if you don't think you can handle talking to them or are concerned you may not say what you want to say verbally.
If things do not go well, don't be too upset about having to move on. You seem like a wonderful girl and deserve wonderful friends. I am certain that you will meet more people worthy of your friendship.
Best of luck.
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