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My guy is great, but...
18/f
I am a freshman in college and have found a wonderful new boyfriend. He's an old school gentleman, smart, funny, and a great soccer player. He treats me like I am the center of his whole universe, and he could not possibly be any nicer. I have even moved in with him at his apt. off campus.
So all that is great and all, but I can not convince him how great he really is. He hates himself, and talks bad about himself all the time. He literally has no self-esteem whatsoever, and I know that he's struggled in the past with being suicidal-I mean, he shot himself when he was in high school but survived miraculously. How can I convince him that he's what he really is, which is a guy that a lot of girls who dream to have?
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I understand where you're coming from, my boyfriend has extremely low self-esteem, too. You need to tell him that, show him that; but his level of self-esteem isn't going to change overnight. I don't know if he's in counseling? Usually counseling does more for a person than even their own loved one can help. I know I've been suicidal, and have been through treatment about 5 times within the last 2 years, so I have an idea of what he's going through. Knowing this from experience, low self-esteem normally comes from depression, or experiences in the past that have really hurt him/her.
Things to tell him that may help:
-Stay positive! Whether he likes it or not, have him make a list of atleast 20 positive traits about him. You can do it, but in order for him to believe it, he needs to do this himself.
-Exercise! It helps, it truly does.
Here's a website to help:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
You could also google or look on eHow.
let me know if you need anything else,
and good luck!!
kitty
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