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How do i re-word this paragraph?
I have to summarize this article and the words in this paragraph are so clean and tight that I can't re-word it:
Escorted by Reconnaissance Squadron (commanded by Major Pierre Huet), we drove from the forward operating base near Spin Boldak to the District Joint Co-ordination Centre, a convenient location for potential patients that was made available to us by the District Leader of Spin Boldak. With a platoon of infantry for perimeter security and two full medical teams (one male, one female), our clinic offered care to more than 260 patients, both children and adults, in six intense hours of clinical work.
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When writing a summary of text this length, the aim is to highlight the important information in a sentence or two. You're not supposed to just change words around in the paragraph, that is wrong.
This is what I would write:
"After traveling to the District Join co-ordination Centre, the narrator's clinic cared for more than 260 patients over a six-hour period."
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