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Dependant older relative not moving out.
Have a family and a relative staying with us. It was supposed to be temp but it has been 4 years now. Our family is wanting to have our own private time but it is hard with this relative not making changes and not even trying to be more independent. This person has certain addictions and is not up for any change, but change needs to happen because we have a young person that needs a room of their own. It is frustrating dealing with this relative and expects everything done for him and if its not, well that is another story, I blame myself for doing everything for this person but I have made him so dependent on me and my family I am not sure what to do...
If I did not make anything clear and there is more questions please let me know...
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
you should start looking into assisted living. Many places make it able for the residents to come and go as they please. For the relitive it will be hard. it could feel like you just dont like them, or they are too much for people, they might start to feel depressed and shoved away. In this part there could be more work than just sticking with it, but in the long term it might be a better choice. Let them know how hard it is for the people that need the room,but dont try to kick them out. Be ready for either the silent treatment or lots of questions. whenever they are ready they will ask you more, how much, where, whats going to happen to them, there things, the family, when can they see you, ect. Be ready for all of those questions and more. make sure your spending or at least trying to spend even more time on them (even if they resist and activity). Have the entire family join in on this, play cards, read, watch movies, homework, listen to their favorite music, take them to their favorite sproting event, make them cookies or favorite food, ect. At this point you have to be confident for them, they will feel some what pushed away, that is something that you will have to make up for. Make it a slow transition, unless they ask other wise. And be sure you know why they are still with family instead of at an assisted living center. That can be the answer to why they will not leave. Saving money? Dont like strangers? Not trusting? ect.
I really hope that helps. i know how your feeling. it gets tough but it gets easier when you really get on the horse about the problem. just make sure you talk with them about it. Good luck. i hoep all goes well.
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