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soft?
24/f. I have been dating this man the last month or so, he is 31. When we have sex it takes a minute for him to get hard and even then it seems to be not completely "erect". I know he is very physically attracted to me so that is not the problem. I was wondering if this was common or if anyone knew some possible reasons why this is happening. Thank you. also, is it bad of me to be less interested in him for this fact? the sex is good but that "problem" is strange and I am not comfortable asking him about it yet.
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I think this is pretty common, some people call it preformance anxiety. It will usually get better as you become more comfortable. Another thing is that he might just need more foreplay before going at it. If things don't improve on their own, it might be time to say something, especially if it bugs you enough to ask for advice.
You have several options, and since it sounds like he can get hard but just not hard enough, a cockring is probably your best bet. this is a band (fabric, leather, elastic, etc.) that goes around the base of the dick and balls and acts as a tourniquet, increasing bloodflow and allowing for a more full erection. By the way, its good you know that this is not a reflection of how attracted he is to you, so just shrug it off, especially if the sex is still good!
worried about introducing him to the idea? try giving it to him as a gift during oral sex. good luck!
**TheGivingtree
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The problem isn't as "strange" as you think. Although most men with erectile dysfunction are on average 50-65 it can affect younger men as well. I can't say that this is or isn't happening as I'm not a medical doctor.
It can also stem from irrational or paralyzing fears he has. Maybe he's terrified of getting you pregnant, inexperienced whereas you aren't, afraid of STDs and or hurting you. Ask him what he thinks is wrong.
If it seems to be a physical problem all he would need to do is book an appointment with a urologist. This specialist will examine his reproductive organs and system to make sure there's no injuries or other reasons causing this. He/she can also prescribe medication such as Viagra or Levitra.
Don't get upset at him as believe me if he controlled matters which he can't you'd have no problem. It's not his fault or yours. Is it wrong to find him less attractive because he has trouble with erections? I think you know that's rhetorical.
If you have any doubts: You better believe that it's incredibly wrong to abandon someone or lose attraction to them over something physical they can't control. Get him to a urologist and get some books on this subject and make yourselves educated on what you can do in terms of options. It's harder to deal with if it's psychological but can be.
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