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My Best Friend's "Friend"


Question Posted Tuesday September 9 2008, 6:01 pm

Well, here's my problem. Last year, in 7th grade, my best friend really liked this guy she was friends with. I was so happy for her, because she never likes anyone, and she was always talking about how much she liked him and that he was so cute and whatnot. But THIS year, now the three of us are all really good friends and we hang out a lot. We've only been in school for 2 and a half weeks, and this guy has been growing really attached to me. I keep trying to pull the too closer together, I'm usually good at that, but I'm not sure it's working. So one time while I was walking down the hall with her, I said, "Listen, I'm really sorry, I'm trying to bring you two together, but he's not cooperating." and she said, "That's OK, I don't really mind, and, besides, I think he likes you." And I started to go, "Oh my God. I'm sorry, but EW!" I've talked to her more about it, and she says it doesn't bother her and she doesn't think she likes him anymore. But it makes me feel really, REALLY weird, because it feels like I'm... like, stealing him or something! And the more I think about, it DOES really seem like he likes me. But I just feel so bad. So, can anyone help me out? I do like him, but in a friend sort of way.

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sin_c_chic answered Wednesday September 10 2008, 9:52 am:
First off, I can tell you are a great friend for feeling THIS bad over something you have NO control over. I had a 'so-called friend' of mine hook up with my current boyfriend, so believe me, I respect you for that.

However, you shouldn't feel bad about that! As I said before, you have no control over the way he feels about you or her. The best thing now is to not try and push him any either direction. If he expresses that he likes you, tell him what you told us...You just care for him as a friend. If this conversation ever comes up, leave it at that. Don't bring up that your friend likes him because you don't want him to think that is the only reason. That may then put drama between all three of you.

If he's never come out and said that he likes you, maybe you can talk (in normal conversation) about a guy that you like. You know, kinda drop the hint that it's not him.

Bottom line though..you've done nothing wrong. You are a great friend and both are lucky to have you.

I wish you the best of luck hun! Let me know how things go.

<3 Leslie

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