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friend/love triangle
there is a guy, let's call him chris. he liked me in 8th grade and asked me out, and i said no. however, we remained good friends until 9th grade. then, he got a girlfriend, and, assuming that he no longer liked me / wanted to talk to me, i insincerely ignored him for a few months.
little did i know that separately, my female friend (let's call her brianna) from out of town was talking to him on a daily basis. they became friends in 8th grade when he would often ask her for advice regarding asking me out, etc. it was very awkward. even in 9th grade during the timespan of chris and i not talking, brianna would talk to him and then one day chris messaged me and we made up and became friends again. brianna selfishly feels fully responsible for chris and i becoming friends again, although i would have been just fine not being friends with him.
so now, in 10th grade, we are all friends. GOOD, right? NO. it's horrible. i absolutely hate it. i hate how she talks to him and how they talk and IM and say things to each other that i don't know about. both parties have considered dating each other but for obvious purposes (and not-so-obvious) they have not yet. brianna went out with a separate guy from my school, let's call him chester, and i barely even knew about it. the whole time, chris was giving brianna advice about what to do about chester. and it got me so heated.
i always thought that it was me just being my natural jealous, overly sensitive, overreactive self. but recently, i realized why i am so upset about this whole three-way game that brianna, chris and i are playing.
(1) the whole reason why i appreciate(d) brianna as a friend so much was because i could say anything about anyone in my school to her and not worry about her telling anyone. it was that she was so separate from all my other friends and i could escape to her when i had drama with my other friends from my school. but now i have to say, "don't tell chris, but..." otherwise she will.
(2) chris is the perfect boyfriend except for one thing, which is why i didn't go out with him. i am almost territorial of him because i want first dibs when that one thing changes. so i really don't like him talking to my friend. i don't care about other girls but it's JUST with her i feel so upset.
(3) i miss having conversations with each of them without the other one's name coming up.
SO ANYWAY. i hate playing this triangular game. i absolutely hate it. except i can't seem to separate myself from them because they were two of my BEST friends and i just miss back when they didn't know each other. i can't talk to them because they'll ask me what my point is, and i pretty much just want them to stop talking to each other. i know that's selfish of me, but that is what i want. i will not try to persue it though, nor will i try to break them up as friends because they "have so much in common" :( :(
but what should i do? believe me, i have TRIED ignoring it. i have TRIED. and i can't. i can't tell them that it's awkward for me because it would come off as though i like chris, which i sort of do except for that one flaw of his. she doesn't like him as more than a friend but she would date him if that one flaw was fixed, just like me.
for the love of god, can someone please help me and supply me with some advice? i absolutely hate this...
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I've noticed you've asked this same question at least 3 times, and I guess you haven't found your answer yet. What do you want me to tell you? You're jealous, and unless you plan on cutting all ties with the two of them, or sabotaging their relationship, you're gonna have to get over it. Yeah, it gets weird when two friends you do NOT want together become really close, and believe me, I've tried breaking it up. The only one who ended up loosing was me. You shouldn't be jealous about your friends being friends. You should celebrate it. But if it's truly that unbearable and uncomfortable for you, tell them each what you don't like. Tell the girl that anything spoken between the two of you should remain as such, and tell the guy that you have feelings for him, but there's just that one thing stopping you. It's kinda like an Anne-Mary Boleyn situation. Things hardly ever go our way, and the chances of things magically returning to what they used to be are very, very slim. Just make sure that she doesn't get the guy, cause trust me, you'll just end up loosing them both. Good luck.
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