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Borderline Cheat?
Okay, I love my boyfriend. We have been dating for ten months now, and something happened in the first two or three months we were dating. An ex-boyfriend of mine would call really like at night, once my boyfriend (Chase) and I had gotten off the phone. I never expected him to call, nor did I ever say call back.. We talked for a good 2-3 hours and then we'd get off the phone. He would end the conversation by saying "I Love You". and I said it back.
I told my boyfriend about this, and we nearly broke up over it.. It entirely broke my heart- but we're trying to sort through things now, but there's still a problem.
I cannot forget about what I did to him. Everytime we laugh, or have a good time- I think about how I have hurt him. I truly don't know how to forget about the past and move on..
Any Advice?
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If you've been with your boyfriend for 10 months, then there should be no reason you're telling your ex-boyfriend you love him. If you do still have feelings for him, then I suggest ending things with your boyfriend before it gets worse. Since you've done that, you're boyfriend will always have that doubt in his mind that you're doing something behind his back. He can say he forgives you, but he's probably thinking about it just as much as you are. The reason you keep thinking about it, is because of guilt. You care about your boyfriend and don't want anything to happen between the two of you, but your guilt is eating at you.
To get over the whole guilt trip, I suggest talking to your boyfriend about it. Let him know that it's still bothering you. Show him that he means a lot to you & that you wouldn't ever do that again. If he understands how bad you really feel and thinks your being sincere about it, he'll understand and fully forgive you.
You also need to speak to your ex-boyfriend. Tell him that you're fully over him and don't want any part in his life anymore. Stop talking to him until things get better with your boyfriend. You don't have to stop being friends with your ex, but if it's going to ruin your relationship then I wouldn't speak to him anymore.
Good Luck.
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I think that now its time for you to forgive yourself. Your boyfriend did, so why can't you? Your boyfriend OBVIOUSLY still wants to be with you after that so why can't you forgive yourself. I think you need to look deeper within yourself to figure that out. Maybe you still have feelings for your ex. What you need to do is prove to your boyfriend. YOu don't have to but just so you can forgive your self. Be an amazing girlfriend and just learn to except the fact that you did something stupid and that you can learn from it.
hope i helped!
-E
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